CHAPTER IV
Formula For Success

“I’m a failure.”

Alec Holland took a drink of Jim Beam. He smiled as it exploded in the pit of his stomach. Slowly, he was getting drunk.

“You’re not a failure,” Laura told him. “We just haven’t perfected the serum, yet.”

“And we never will,” he told her. “I just can’t figure it out.”

Laura took a sip of her green tea. She hated to see Alec like this. When he wasn’t drinking, he was the sexiest man she’d ever met. Quiet, contemplative, smart, and beautiful… what more could a woman ask for.

But when he was drinking he turned into a shell of himself. He never thought he could do anything right. And he drowned himself in bourbon. A mask of despair covered his face.

“I think you know what we have to do,” she told him.

Alec looked at her. He took another drink and smiled at her.

“Yeah,” he said.

“We need to ask the government to move our facilities to Louisiana,” she told him. “We need the real plant life to help us.” She sighed. “It’s our best bet for success.”

“I’ve been thinking the same,” he told her. “And I think you’re right.”

Laura went over and hugged him about the shoulders. She ignored his whisky breath as she kissed him.

“Everything will be fine,” she told him.

“I hope you’re right,” he said. He sheepishly pushed away the bottle of booze. Laura reached out and screwed the cap back on.

“Just wait and see,” said Laura. “Things will be just fine.”

But things weren’t all fine in Houma, Louisiana at all.

The government had set up a laboratory in the swamp for Alec and Laura Holland. Surrounded by plant life, Alec still couldn’t find the correct formula for a bio-regenerative experiment.

Again, he’d taken to drinking.

One night, drunk, he stumbled out of the laboratory.

“Where do you think you’re going?” asked Laura.

“I have to get out of here,” he told her. “I’m going out into the bayou for a walk.”

“You can’t go out there,” she said, “especially when it’s dark. There are alligators and things out there. You’ll be eaten alive.”

“Leave me alone,” he said. “I’ll be fine.”

Laura watched him wander off into the swamp. She went back into the lab and picked up the bottle of Jim Beam that Alec had been nursing all night. She threw it across the room, smiling as it smashed into a myriad of tiny pieces.

“Well,” she told herself, “it’s a start.”

Hours passed and there was still no Alec. Laura went outside and sat on the steps to the lab. Overhead, the man in the moon stared down at her.

When she was just about to give up, she saw Alec in the darkness. He was hauling something heavy behind him.

“Come and give me a hand,” he called to her. “This thing is heavy.”

Laura got up from the steps and ran out to him. When she got there, she stopped. She held a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream.

“What do you think about this?” he asked.

Alec was gripping a swamp man beneath the arms.

“What is it?” asked Laura.

“Just help me get it into the lab,” he said. “And I’ll show you something downright fantastic.”

Laura did as he asked. The swamp man was extremely heavy. It made her think how Alec had carried it this far.

They finally managed to get it into the lab. When they were inside, they put the swamp creature on the medical table.

“Stay here,” Alex told her. “I want to show you something.”

Alec ran out of the lab. He was only gone for a few minutes. And when he returned he waved a comic book in Laura’s face.

“Look at this!”

Laura took the comic book away from him. She read the title: SWAMP THING. On the cover, it featured a bayou monster that looked exactly like the creature they had in the lab.

“This is unbelievable,” she said. “It’s the same Swamp Thing.”

“Exactly,” said Alec. “And if it’s the same, the comic book character has regenerative powers just like I’ve been looking for. He’ll be great to experiment on.”

“Are you sure?” asked Laura. “It seems so absurd.”

“Sometimes things are stranger than fiction,” Alec told her. “I have to give it a shot.”

“If you say so,” said Laura. “It’s not like we have anything to lose.”

“Exactly,” replied Alec.

“By the way,” asked Laura, “why are you reading comic books?”

Alec smiled and shrugged. “I’m a geek, what can I say?”

And on the table, prone and unconscious, the Swamp Thing lay.

ONE MONTH LATER

“The serum is a success,” said Alec. “Just watch this.”

Linda watched as he took a beaker of lime green liquid. He poured it onto a plant, brown and dying, in the corner of the room. Within minutes, its stem had started to regrow. It regained its verdant color as the flower at the end of the stem began to bloom.

“That’s absolutely amazing,” said Laura.

“Isn’t it?” Alec held up the liquid up to his face. He smiled at the green ooze inside it. “There’s no telling what the government could use this for.”

“And there’s no telling what Pilate Voorhees could use it for, either.”

Alec turned around. Behind him, guns pointed, stood two men. They were both wearing Richard Nixon masks.

“Who the hell are you?” asked Alec.

“Name’s Tuner,” said the man. “And this here is my friend Artie. We’ve come to give you a little advice via Pilate Voorhees.”

Laura stood behind Alec as he took a step towards the men.

“Just stay right there,” said Tuner. “And keep your listening ears on.”

“What’s Voorhees want with me?” asked Alec.

“Not you,” said Tuner. “It’s the serum he wants.”

“How original,” said Alec. He smirked. “I don’t guess it’ll come as a surprise that I’m not going to give it to you.”

“That’s what we figured,” said Tuner. And he shot Alec in the shoulder. Blood sprayed onto his face as Alec went down. He casually licked the gore from his lips.

“No!” screamed Laura. She ran over to where Alec lay and kneeled down beside him. “Leave him alone!”

The serum had leaked out of the broken beaker. The green liquid leaked down through the floorboards in the cabin.

“I hope that wasn’t the last of the serum,” said Tuner.

“Fuck you,” said Alec.

“That’s just great. Mr. Voorhees isn’t going to be happy.” Tuner held the gun out. “Where’s the formula written down?”

“It’s not,” replied Alec. “I kept it in my head.”

“Bullshit,” said Tuner.

“Trash the place looking for it if you want,” Alec told him. “But you won’t find it.”

Tuner thought about it for a second. Then he turned to Artie.

“Go ahead and torch the place,” he told him.

Artie nodded and ran outside.

Tuner turned back to Laura. “I should get my rocks off on you,” he said, “but I’ve got a better idea.” He held out the gun and shot her in the forehead. She crumpled down onto Alec as she died. “I need to take one hell of a dump,” he continued, “and I think I’m going to do it to cover up your ugly ass looks.”

And that’s just what he did.

As Alec lay beneath her, trapped, Tuner shit on Laura’s face.

Suddenly, flames began to lick at the wooden exterior of the cabin. Smoke filtered into the room.

“That’s my cue,” said Tuner. “It’s been nice knowing you.”

Alec, still trapped beneath Laura, watched as Tuner left the building. He could hear the laughter of both men subside as they left him to die.

Using his good arm, Alec managed to push Laura off of him. As he watched her corpse crumple to the ground, tears exploded from his eyes. Wincing, he took off his lab coat and wiped her face clean of blood and Tuber’s shit.

“Not you,” he said to her. He cradled her in his arms. “It should’ve been me.”

Suddenly, from behind, a large fist was placed on Alec’s shoulder. He turned around, prepared to see the return of Tuber, when he was left staring into the face of the Swamp Thing.

“Come now,” he told Alec. “It’s time to leave.”

“You’re alive,” Alec muttered.

“Indeed,” responded Swamp Thing. He took Laura’s corpse from Alec and brought her up into his arms. He nodded for Alec to follow. “Come now,” he said, “we need to get out of here.”

Alec nodded. He climbed back onto his feet and followed Swamp Thing out of the burning building. As they got outside, the roof imploded, sending the laboratory down into flames.

“All my work,” said Alec. “Destroyed…”

“We have other matters that concern us now,” said Swamp Thing. He sat down Laura’s corpse. “Do you have any final words to say to her?”

Alec fell down onto his knees. Gently, ignoring her dirty features, he reached down and placed a kiss on her lips. “I’ll always love you,” he told her.

Swamp Thing nodded. “Now, move back.”

As Alec regained his footing, he stepped back. He watched as Swamp Thing made the ground part. Steam rose up out of the earth as the grave was dug.

“I don’t want to put here in there,” said Alec. “She’s needs a proper resting place.”

“Just do as I say,” said Swamp Thing. “Inter her into the ground.”

“I… I can’t,” stammered Alec. “Not with my shoulder.”

Swamp Thing didn’t say a word. Instead he bent down and took Laura’s corpse into his arms. Gently, he lay her down into the awaiting grave.

He then turned to Alec, who was holding his wound.

“Remove your hand,” said Swamp Thing.

Doing as he was asked, Alec let down his hand. He winced as Swamp Thing touched the wound, and then sighed. When he next looked at the injury, it had closed up. There wasn’t even a pucker to show where the bullet had entered him.

“The regenerative powers,” he said. “Couldn’t we use them on Laura?”

“No,” said Swamp Thing. “Let her rest in peace.”

Alec was quiet for a moment. Then he turned as the last of the laboratory crashed down.

“What am I going to do now?” he asked.

“Now,” said Swamp Thing, “you live.”

“What do you mean?”

“Put your live back together,” he said.

“I don’t know how,” replied Alec.

“Don’t worry,” said Swamp Thing. “I’ll help you.”

And that’s how the story comes to a close.

In the wake of Laura’s death, Alec Holland commissioned the government to help him rebuild his Louisiana laboratory. He promised that he would be able to support his bio-regenerative formula and that he would produce the wonders it could bring to the world.

He called the new laboratory the LAURA WHEELER RESEARCH FACILITY.

Pilate Voorhees died a lonely and broke man. He was never able to successfully get the formula from Alec. Tuber was arrested after he shot Artie in a poker game. He eventually died in the electric chair at Houma Prison. Alec smiled the night that the lights in his lab flickered off-and-on signaling Tuber’s demise.

Swamp Thing dedicated himself to Alec’s work. He allowed any part of his body to be used for the experiments, and helped Alec achieve success.

Alec, meanwhile, fell in love with an ivory-haired beauty named Abby. He missed Laura, but Abby helped fill-in a gap in his life. He had never felt so much in love. Eventually, he thought, he might even marry the girl. Maybe…

Swamp Thing stood by and idly watched. He, too, loved Abby. But he felt a reassurance that she would be kept safe with Alec. He withheld his love for her, watching her from afar. He knew that she loved him, too, but that was for another time and place.

And that, my dear friends, is the happy ending to our story.