Issue #3, Sep. Yr. 1

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Long, Long ago in a place not too far away, there were a group of people bounded together to share in their pain, in hopes of bettering their lives and humanity in general. They were the Doom Patrol. Brought together by Niles "Chief" Caulder, they lived, they fought, they loved, and they died. And they came back, time and time again. Same people, different people - the faces changed except one,

Clifford Steele aka Robotman.

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FDC presents "Take a Drink From His Special Cup"
by Gary Dreslinski

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SUBJECT SPOTTED LEAVING AIRPORT FOLLOWED TO RESIDENCE OF FAMILY HUNTER SITUATION UNDER CONTROL NO NEED FOR FURTHER INTRUSION BY AGENTS INTO CENE
SCENARIO 56 PLAYS OUT WORST CASE OF HUNTER’S AID WHICH INVOLVES COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF PLANET AND SURROUNDING REALITIES SCENARIO TERMINATED BY AGENT IN CHARGE
FORCE AUTHORIZED TO ELIMINATE THREAT OF 56 BY THE REMOVAL OF KID ON BIKE TWO STREETS OVER
KID ON BIKE RELOCATED TO LIBYAN OPERATIONS CAMP FOR FURTHER STUDY- PARENTS ELIMINATED- FRIENDS ELIMINATED
SUBJECT CLIFFORD STEELE UNAWARE OF REMOVAL THUS FAR
SCENARIO 85 NOW IN PLAY

CONTACT ESTABLISHED BETWEEN SUBJECT AND TIMOTHY HUNTER WHOM OPERATIONS LISTS ON DANGEROUS FILE AS "OPENER"
AUDIO FEED ON

"I’m not sure I know how I can possibly help you."
"I was told to come here"
"You said that already - several times in fact."
" I know - but it’s a fact. You are the one who is supposed to help me."
"And a frog told you this?"

FILE SCANNING "FROG" CROSS-REFERENCE KNOWN THREATS
NO RECORDS FOUND

"Yes he did"
"What could I possibly . . .unless of course . . ."
"What??"
"Unless of course you’ve been sent to help *me*"
"Have you been paying attention?"
"Honestly Mr. Steele - I think you were."

AUDIO FEED LOST
VISUAL SURVEILLANCE INDICATES A HEATED DISCUSSION BETWEEN SUBJECT AND TIMOTHY HUNTER
RESTRICTIONS REPEALED - REQUEST AGENT INTRUSION IN SCENE
SCENARIO 63 NOW IN PLACE
REPEAT 63 NOW IN PLACE
ELIMINATION OF SUBJECTS STEELE AND HUNTER NOW AN OPTION ACCORDING TO DOCTRINE
CAULDER PRESERVE US

TEAM ALPHA DISPATCHED INTO SCENE
TEAM ALPHA AWOL
LARGE GROUP OF CATS SPOTTED EXITING HOUSE
TEAM BETA DISPATCHED INTO SCENE
TEAM BETA AWOL
LARGE GROUPS OF CATS SPOTTED EXITING HOUSE
MAGIC INDICATED ALONG LEVELS BEYOND CURRENT CAPACITY TO HANDLE
RECOMMEND PROTOCOLS BE ENACTED

VISUAL INDICATES A FOCAL POINT HAS BEEN MADE OF SUBJECT AND
INCANTATION HAS BEEN STARTED
ENERGY BUILD UP
GATEWAY OPENED
REPEAT GATEWAY OPENED
GATEWAY CLOSED
SUBJECT NO LONGER ON PREMISES
APPROVAL FOR IMMEDIATE STRAFING OF NEIGHBORHOOD RECEIVED
ALL UNITS DEPLO . . .

ACCESS RECORDS OF LAST TWO HOURS
<NO RECORDS FOUND>
ACCESS LONDON OPERATION AND ORDERS RECEIVED
<NO RECORDS FOUND>

Men dressed entirely in mauve return from whence they came leaving the tactical operations team to figure out has happened. They never will.

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Elsewhere

There’s a first time for everything. Your first kiss. Your first love. Your first Happy Meal. And oh yeah, your first time in Hell. Clifford Steele wasn’t enjoying his one bit. It wasn’t the heat that bothered him, in fact the weather was quite nice. It was the overwhelming feeling of fear, of dread - the type that would have given him goose bumps, if you could get goose bumps with metal skin. It wasn’t like any of the other firsts, unless of course you count the first time he learned what was *in* a Happy Meal.
He kept himself focused though. Focused on what he had to do. That Hunter boy had been quite insistent.
Hunter had a friend named Leah. She was doing quite fine. But apparently another version of her wasn’t and that had to be remedied. Cliff wasn’t quite sure exactly of how he had been sent here - other than Hell was some sort of nexus point where realities were all one. He wasn’t all together sure what that meant either. Other than the fact that it was weird - and weird was what he did, at least it was what kept finding him. Hunter had said that saving this other Leah from Hell would help him in tracking down the Cult of Niles Caulder. Once again, Cliff wasn’t sure *how* - but the kid seemed to know a lot of other stuff so odds were good on this one too.

He was lost in thought when a pretty blonde teenage girl came into view wearing a mini skirt and a smile. He looked up quickly and saw her just a half second before she flattened him.

Cliff woke up chained to the walls in what looked like a dungeon, and not a very well kept one either. The girl was standing in front of him smiling.
She looked familiar - and then he realized why.

"Leah?" he said, knowing that every cliché had just hit him square in the face.

"Of course. Timothy sent you didn’t he?"

He didn’t need to answer - so he didn’t.

"Silly boy - he should know by now that I’m happy here. It’s the others that are denying what and who they are."

"And what are they?"

"Succubi. But then dear old Tim didn’t mention that did he?"

He hadn’t. But he didn’t need to mention that either, so he didn’t.

"He never does. Just his quirk I guess. . . Too bad you have to die for it."

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Next issue: Not your average issue, even for *this* title. I’m not even sure how to explain it other than to say it’s going to shake up the status quo of the book and it features an old JLA villain.

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*Doom Sayers*

I’ve noticed in other titles the writers taking the time to write a
note or two to the readership and thought "that’s a good idea" so I’m
implementing it here too. Sometimes it’ll be a rant and sometimes I’ll
be answering any letters you kind folks would care to send me with
questions and comments on the series so far.
This time is a rant, or maybe just a statement of purpose.
This is the first time I’ve tried my hand at fan fiction. I must
confess to reading quite a bit of it on other lists (for TV shows) and
finding that most of it bites. It bites *bad*.
Why? Because people, or at least those people, like the status quo.
They want the characters to stay just the way they’ve always stayed -
they just want to write them.
Even if they’re good writers - which quite a few of them aren’t - that
sort of mentality leads to a dead end. If you don’t want to do
something *different* - if you don’t want to take something you love
and make it *yours*, then why are you writing?
I can’t conceive of any comics company hiring Alan Moore or any other
writer for that matter and wanting them to do their book just like
it’s always been done. Alan would put his stamp on it. Any writer
would - or face editorial death trying. I said I can’t conceive it.
That’s not really true, since it *does* happen. Maybe I should say
that I chose not to conceive it.
I decided to write for Faux DC after finding the site and enjoying
what I saw here. It wasn’t the sort of suck that I was used to
affiliating with fan fiction. I’m actually enjoying reading the
stories here. If you’re a fellow writer reading this - kudos. If
you’re a reader, who, like me, just happened to find the site (or know
someone involved) you came to the right place for fan fiction.
My Doom Patrol isn’t Grant’s - it’s not Rachel’s - it’s not anything
before that point or after. I play with some of Grant’s toys he left
around the same way I play with the toys from others that they left
out when it started to rain. I’m proud of that fact. I plan on playing
as long as they let me - with the characters, with the format, with
anything I can get my hands on. After all - fan fiction is about
having fun.
Hope you have fun with it too.

Send comments, letters to the editor, pieces of eight, questions, Vic
Sages and anything else that might come up in your mind or scramble to
clauderains@rocketmail.com