Issue #38 Faux DC proudly presents.... "School Days" by TJ Burns

“Ack! Where are my keys? I can’t be late for work on the first day of my new job! Peacock, have you seen them?”, cries Shayera Thal as she looks underneath the couch in the spacious living room of the Chicago building that acts as home/superhero headquarters for herself and Katar Hol… Hawkman and Hawkwoman! “Sorry, Shayera… Dennis is working on overhauling your bike today… take the car in today… he just finished working on it.” , smiles Katar Hol, as he finishes a morning cup of orange juice just in time to dodge a playfully thrown pillow. “I hate taking that tank into work, Peacock… besides, you have a job too, y’know… how are you going to get in?” , says Shayera Thal, with a bemused look on her face. “I have my ways, Magpie.”, laughs Katar Hol as a set of magnificent wings sprout from his back. “Besides,” he says, with a smile in his eyes, “have you ever seen the parking situation on a university campus?” “Hmm… good point.”, concedes Shayera. “Besides, I’m not sure if I want my baby parked where those reactionaries that you call students might get at it.” “Five minutes ago it was a tank, now it’s your baby?”, jokes Katar. “A woman has the right to change her mind, peacock.”, states Shayera, with a mischievous look in her eyes. “Anyway, it’s off to work I go! See you this evening… and you’d better not be grading papers all night.”, says Shayera as she darts in for a quick kiss goodbye and then out the door. “No danger of that! The semester hasn’t started!”, says Katar wryly to the closed door, a smile on his face. Elsewhere, in a darkened chamber.... “Sands has failed to report in sir… Agent 12 reports that there was a skirmish between Hawkman, Batman, and Sands, as well as a few other metahumans in Gotham last night.”, says a well-dressed man. “I am aware of the reports.”, speaks a figure in the shadows. “Sands escaped… but in a way that makes little, if any sense. I feel that the target is lost, thanks to that meddling alien. Why must they always become involved in my affairs?”, asks the man in the shadows in the tone of one that has known much suffering. “I don’t know sir… should we put out a warning about the Hawkman?”, asks the well-dressed man. “Most of our agents in Chicago are afraid of attacking him, thanks to his fiancé… apparently, she tends to be a tad more violent than your average metahuman. Do not worry yourself, my underling… I have a plan.” , says the shadowy figure, the sneer on his face unseen, but evident in his voice. The office of Dr. Carter Hall, PhD… Moldoff University is a recent addition to the Chicago skyline. In the series of fires which wiped out the area known as the Netherworld, a great deal of property became cleared out of the slum area that had once been home to an army of metahumans so unusual that they were unable to blend in even in superhuman society. With further destruction caused by the rampage of the alien Hawkgod and by the awesome powers unleashed by the cosmic event known as Zero Hour, it looked as if the city would be damaged for years to come. However, a series of federal grants for development enabled the city to rebuild. One of the new features was the University… a University preparing for its first class of students. Among the new professors hired here is our hero, who we see swooping in through his open window and walking to a storage cabinet, which we see stocked with clothing. “Thank Kalmoran that my office has a window… makes getting in and out easier.” says Hawkman as he finishes putting on a well-tailored suit on over his fighting garb. The next few hours go by quickly as our hero unpacks the boxes that line the room. Artifacts from civilizations long deadline the shelves, as do the most well respected tomes on history and archaeology… many of who were written by this man in another life. As Katar sits down at his desk to admire the view, he suddenly hears the familiar jangle of alarm bells! With a jolt, Katar is out of his seat and into his storage area, slipping off the wardrobe of a college professor and leaving him wearing the garb of Hawkman! Quickly examining the campus with his birdlike senses, Hawkman quickly detects the alarm coming from the Museum wing of the University. With a leap, Katar spreads his wings and flies out over campus, soaring toward the building. Landing on the roof, Hawkman quickly activates his amazing talon, and pops the skylight open and gently, using the awesome gravity negating powers of his Nth Metal skeleton, drifts to the ground. “Hmm… that’s strange. There doesn’t seem to be anyone here.”, says Hawkman, puzzled. A ghostly voice fills the display hall, “Well, if it isn’t the Winged Warrior come to halt the theft of the treasures of the past. It does my heart good to see the men of the law responding so quickly to such an alarm.” To Katar’s amazement, the voice comes from the image of an empty suit, of the style worn centuries ago. A top hat and monocle levitate above the suit’s collar, completing the eerily familiar image. “Give up the theatrics, Craddock. I know you aren’t a real ghost… I met you before, remember?”, says Hawkman as he draws his mace. “My dear boy, things are not always what they seem…”, laughs “Gentleman” Jim Craddock… better known as the Gentleman Ghost! “You’ve had good luck in fooling everyone into thinking that you weren’t responsible for the crimes you’ve committed in the past…. with or without the spook-suit.”, shouts Hawkman as he launches himself toward the Gentleman Ghost… only to pass through him, narrowly missing a rack of antiques. “I did warn you, my dear boy… now, I am afraid I must take my leave. Good Day!”, laughs the Gentleman Ghost as he sinks down through the floor. “I don’t know how you did that.”, growls Hawkman. “But I KNOW you aren’t a ghost, Craddock… and I have my doubts about you being a gentleman.” The echoing of eerie laughter is the only response. Back at Carter Hall’s office… A battered, annoyed Hawkman flies back through his window, landing near his desk. After giving his account of what had happened to security, they had let him go… but our hero is still annoyed with himself. As he sits down at his desk to try and figure out what Craddock could want from the Museum, he finds his phone ringing. With a sigh, he answers it. “Hello, Dr. Hall! It’s an honor to have you on staff here with us!”, gushes the voice at the other end of the line. Hawkman quickly recognizes it as belonging to a fellow teacher in the department, Dr. Karen Lin. “Hello, Dr. Lin! Believe me, the honor is all mine! To what do I owe the honor of your call?”, says Katar, smiling. “One thing about Dr. Lin… that enthusiasm is infectious”, thinks our hero. “We are having a slight staff meeting to discuss a few new acquisitions for our new museum wing. We would be honored by your presence.” ,says Dr. Lin. “Of course, Doctor. I’ll meet you in the conference room in just a few minutes.” ,says Katar, his interest evident in his voice. A Chicago Deli… “Whaddaya want?” ,shouts the fat man behind the counter at the couple who walks in. “I hear that this is the place to go if you have need of advice on mystic lore.” ,says the young man, his features VERY familiar. “Yeah? And who told you that, the tooth fairy? ,says the Deli man, his voice thick with disdain. “Chaon!” ,shouts a voice, old but carrying immense power with it from the back. “Are you annoying those who come here in search of aid again?” “Shut up, you pompous windbag. Old habits die hard.” ,grumbles the Deli man back as the older man comes out to see his visitors. “You’ll have to forgive Chaon… he was forced into early retirement as a Lord of Chaos and still thinks he has too many good years of tormenting people left in him to quit. Now, praytell, what brings Hector Hall into my Deli?” ,asks the old man. “My father says that you used to be Arion, Lord of Atlantis… you were the only sorcerer he knew in this area. I’m looking for my wife and son… maybe you can help.” ,says the young man, his silvery hair glinting under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the deli. “Your dad is right, kid. But Arion here is too washed up to find your kid… the Endless are way too much for him.” , laughs Chaon derisively. “An underestimation of my knowledge coming from one who cannot even slice a pastrami sandwich right.” ,says Arion, and he and Chaon begin arguing in a language older than any living civilization. The redheaded woman who entered the Deli alongside Hector Hall looks at him. “Hector… are you sure about trusting these two with our lives? I just got mine back, and, frankly, I’d hate to throw it away.” “Well, Sharon, you don’t have to come with me. I’ve appreciated your support here… but I have to find Lyta, no matter what the risk. I really screwed my last life up… I have to fix things with this second chance!” ,says Hector Hall, his face resolute. “Oh well… it’s not like I have anyplace ELSE to go. My alien ex-husband is the only person I was ever close to still alive… which is the universe’s misfortune.” ,says the woman known only as Sharon, her feelings on the subject evident from the tone in her voice. “OK, kid… I think I can help you… says Arion as he turns away from Chaon. “But I can’t promise you are going to like what you find out.”, he says grimly, as he pointedly ignores the rude gesture flashed at him by the irritable Lord of Chaos at the counter. Back at the University… “I’m glad you could make it Dr. Hall… security informed me of your encounter with our mystery thief in the museum earlier. We could have lost priceless relics today if it hadn’t been for your quick response. I’d like to introduce you to some of the other professors involved in the Archaeology section of the museum. This is Dr. Anton Lamont, who is our curator.,” says Dr. Lin as she introduces our protagonist to a smiling Frenchman. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Lamont. Have we met before? You seem awfully familiar…”, says Katar with a puzzled look. “No, I can’t imagine where.”, says Dr. Lamont with a smile. “Perhaps you have read my book?” “That must be it.”, says Katar with a laugh. “I’m sure you’ve met the other professor I’ve invited, then Dr. Hall. Allow me to introduce Dr. Konrad Kaslak.”, states Dr. Lin. “We’ve met.”, says Katar grimly. Konrad Kaslak was not to be trusted. In the early months of the Thanagarian diplomatic mission to Earth, Kaslak had almost destroyed everyone involved, with an ancient group of Thanagarian gods known as Te Shamaar, who had been summoned forth to Earth through the magic of several artifacts. Kaslak has stolen one of those artifacts, the cauldron of Mar Rhigan, the goddess of death. While the relic had been recovered later, Kaslak had escaped punishment. Apparently, his reputation had survived unscathed as well. More’s the pity. “I recall it well, Dr. Hall. It will be good to work with you. I just thank goodness that you saw the actual burglar earlier… I would so hate to be accused of theft by you again.” says Konrad Kaslak with a noticeable smirk. “Well, I’m sure that is all water under the bridge, gentlemen,” says Dr. Lin, firmly inserting herself between the two professors. “Now, we have a problem. If the thief is as skilled as Dr. Hall has reported, then our current security measures simply aren’t effective. We have recently received a few historical pieces donated to us by a wealthy benefactor. They are a set of pistols belonging to a 14th century English highwayman named “Gentleman” Jim Craddock, whom, I gather, was famous in his day. Losing those artifacts would be a terrible blow to the museum. Perhaps you can offer us some advice, Dr. Hall?” “Well, my fiancé is more of a policeman than I am. She’s recently been promoted to head up the unit in charge of crimes being committed by metahumans. I could consult with her on the matter… and, of course, I could monitor the situation myself.” says Katar firmly. “That would be a real help, Dr. Hall. I’m sure we all appreciate your thoughts on this matter.” smiles Dr. Lin. The Police Department. “Kaslak and this “Gentleman Ghost? You’ve got your work cut out for you. Of course the department will help as much as it can. Be careful Peacock. I understand… talk to you later tonight. Bye! I love you!” ,says Shayera Thal into the phone receiver. “Problems at home, Shay?”, says Shayera’s #2, Andrea Lencioni. “No, not at all. Katar was just reporting an attempted break-in at work.”, says Shayera, with an all-too-rare smile, as she fills Lencioni in on the events at the museum. “Yeah, I remember that Kaslak guy… the other one sounds like a guy that committed a few robberies in Gotham City a few years ago. They never could catch him. Not even with BATMAN.”, says Lencioni with a stage whisper. “Katar says he knows who the guy is… but he can’t prove it.”, says Shayera with a sigh. “Back on Thanagar, if we had data on a piece of work like this, he’d be took down in a second, and that’s flat.”, growls Shayera. “Yeah, but here in the land of opportunity, we can’t do things like that, Ms. Thal.” comes the voice of Police Commissioner Emmett as he walks through the door of Shayera’s office. “I know Commissioner… I’m behaving like a good little squeeker.”, says Shayera with a smile. “Yeah, well… we’ll see how long that lasts. Only in America would they give YOU the big guns and set you after criminals.”, laughs Commissioner Emmett. “Like you said… it’s the land of opportunity.” , jokes Shayera in return. The Hawk’s Nest. The scene opens with a huge, three armed biker gritting his teeth. “All right, let’s DO this!” , he yells… and then puts on an apron and begins to dust the house, sneezing every other minute. “I REALLY hate my allergies.”, comments the three-armed man… who we recognize as Lefty, Hawkman’s slightly superhuman aide-de-camp. The doorbell rings, and our hero’s stalwart companion runs to answer it. “Y’know, buddy, the apron thing is YOU.” , comments the man at the door, as his face changes to a familiar grin. “Shut up or I’ll rearrange that face of yours… or any other one you’d care to put on. How have ya been, Knowbuddy?”, says Lefty. “Pretty good. This acting job’s been working out pretty good, y’know buddy? But that’s not why I’m here, y’know, buddy. Is Katar at home?”, asks the bizarre shapeshifter known as Knowbuddy. “No, man, he’s started to work at that new college they built. What’s up? You still keeping up with the other Netherworlders?”, asks Lefty as he offers Knowbuddy a beer. “Well, yeah, and that is part of the reason I’m here, y’know, buddy? The Hawk asked me to keep in touch with the guys still on the ground level, y’know buddy, and there has been a lot of out of town hitters coming into town… I think someone is trying to have the Hawk aced, y’know buddy?” , says Knowbuddy, his worry evident in his every word. “Aww, man… that isn’t good… I just cleaned up this place. The big guy will throw a fit if some big doofus comes in here trying to nail him and breaks some stuff.”, says Lefty. “Y’know, buddy, as tough as the Hawk is, maybe you are giving him too much credit.”, says Knowbuddy, still worried. “Nah… believe me, he’s gotten nothing but tougher since the whole thing with Count Viper.”, laughs Lefty. “If they sent Superman, or one of them Martians in to kill him, then I’d worry.” “Y’know, buddy… I hope that you are right.”, smiles Knowbuddy. The Museum of Moldoff University, a few hours later. “Whoever designed this museum has one thing going for them… they know how to give a winged man room to maneuver!” thinks Katar Hol as he makes his third pass through the museum. Suddenly the room grows chill, and, standing before the case holding the pistols of “Gentleman” Jim Craddock is the ethereal figure that claims to be his ghost! “Craddock! Step away from the case!” shouts Hawkman in a booming tone. “Ah, if it isn’t the winged wonder here to haul me off to the constabulary. What crime have I committed, my dear boy?” asks the Gentleman Ghost, sarcasm ringing from his ghostly voice. “Don’t play that game with me, Craddock. I know you are here to steal those pistols. You’ve always had an obsession with your highwayman ancestor… even enough to pretend you are his ghost. Back away. Now.” says Katar as he draws his mace. “Why would I wish to steal those pistols, lad? After all… I donated them,” laughs the Gentleman Ghost. “What?” asks Hawkman, his disbelief evident in his voice. “I simply wished to protect my pistols, my fine feathered friend. After all, this isn’t a safe town anymore.” , says the Gentleman Ghost, his invisible face hiding the smirk that is all too evident in his voice. “From what?” , asks Katar Hol, his irritation at the Ghost’s manner showing. Suddenly a huge roaring sound fills the room as a giant, snake tailed monster comes up from the floor! “Hol! What are you doing here!” , screams the monster. “From that.” ,says the Gentleman Ghost dryly. “Count Viper!” ,shouts Hawkman. “What are you doing here?” “In this place of ancient things lies a weapon that could increase my avatar powers a hundredfold! With them, I could finally rebuild this nation from its sad state today. And all that stands between it and me is a pitiful Hawk Champion and one long dead. Prepare to die, Hol!” , shouts Count Viper, his arrogance in his power showing with every word. Outside the Museum. A strange figure emerges from the shadows and climbs up the stairs in front of the museum. As he lifts a guitar up and begins to play, an unusual effect is had on all of those in the area. Within moments, the streets are filled with people… and violence ensues! Deep Space… “Once again, my thanks are to Thanagar for it’s continued support of my regime here on Dhor, S’ri Ved.” ,says the pink skinned alien being bowing before the powerful winged figure. “Thanagar is still recovering from an attack on it by those of Earth, Kanjar Ro. A traitor named Katar Hol. We are pleased to have your assistance in this matter. Those of Earth have faced you before. Where else in this sector might we find aid for our forces in this mission of vengeance.” ,says the stern winged warrior named Deron Ved. “Well, there are three other worlds here in this sector… all of whom have limitless resources for such a powerful commander.” , says Kanjar Ro fawningly. “Of course. We will build our army here. Earth shall pay for our home world’s devastation… and Katar Hol’s skull will hang on my wall!” ,shouts Deron Ved, rage dripping from every word. Next issue: Into the Pit of Vipers! Comments can be addressed to: stark_us@yahoo.com

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