Issue #37; April, Year One
Faux DC proudly presents.... "Hawks, Bats, and Shadows"
What has gone before...
The mysterious leader of the Criminal Alliance of the World has
hired the Shadow Thief to steal the computer core of the old Justice
League Satellite from its final resting place at Wayne Enterprises.
Meanwhile Hawkman, needing a quick way home from an evening of
cards with the Justice Society of America, decided to use the
old JLA teleporters to get back to Chicago... teleporting him
to the teleport center of the old JLA satellite... where the Shadow
Thief had just defeated the local hero Joe Public! As the winged
warrior faced off with his shadowy nemesis, he found himself disarmed
by Gotham's legendary Darknight Detective... the Batman!
"Calm down Batman... we've worked together before. You know
that the JLA had my mind read to prove my identity. Even if you
can't trust me, can't you trust J'onn and Diana?" ,says Hawkman.
"There are ways to beat telepathy, Thanagarian... I've done
it before myself. Even the best can be fooled... and another undercover
Thanagarian wouldn't surprise me in the least. Surrender now...
save yourself some trouble." ,says the Batman, grimly.
"You don't understand... I was using the JLA teleporter...
but I found the Shadow Thief here..." begins Hawkman.
"Really. So where is he now?" ,says the Batman as he
prepares for another throw.
"All right, Batman... I tried to be reasonable. But if I
have to, I can take you down!" ,shouts Hawkman as he smoothly
lifts his mace for an attack.
"Welcome, officers, to the Special Task Force on Metahuman
Crime." ,says Commissioner Emmett as he addresses the milling
officers of the Chicago Police Department. "Today we have
a special guest... the head of the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit...
"Welcome, officers. As many of you know, metahuman crime
is still on the rise. With the formation of the new Justice League
of America, many metahumans have organized themselves into organizations
that better defends them from even the likes of the JLA. That
means that we boys and girls in blue need to be prepared for the
situations that even the super-guys can't always be able to beat
single-handedly. Chicago was chosen as the first step for this
special training, because you guys have the highest metahuman
population in the US, and most of your heroes, like the Blue Beetle
and the Hawks aren't just the stay-at-home types." ,says
"Terrible" Turpin, as he addresses the officers.
"Hey there, pal... our Hawks are the best! Shayera here is
even on the force!" ,says Andrea Lencioni. (The Hawks' closest
friend on the force... and Shayera's current partner.)
"Even so, Officer, Chicago needs to be prepared. We'll be
training with Lexcorp blasters this evening... I want you guys
to be able to bring down even the toughest superguy." ,says
Dan Turpin as he unveils the Lexcorp weapons that he has brought
The Battle between Batman and Hawkman rages. Batman leaps off
of his perch with a firm kick to Hawkman's solar plexus. At the
last possible minute, Katar drops like a stone, allowing the kick
to go overhead. He then swings a punch upward himself, which the
Batman narrowly dodges.
"Listen to me, Batman... you are wasting time! The Shadow
Thief is here. We need to stop him." ,says Hawkman.
"Please, don't insult my intelligence. The Shadow Thief is
good, but he's far from invisible." ,says Batman as he throws
his Batarang directly for the head of Hawkman.
"Don't waste your time, old friend... remember who taught
you to throw that toy back in your college days." ,says Hawkman
as he catches the Batarang and crushes it. "I taught you
that, when you sought me out as Carter Hall."
"Carter Hall could never have crushed a titanium Batarang
in his bare hand either. All you've proven to me is that you know
things you shouldn't, 'friend'... and that means that you have
to go down... NOW!" ,says Batman as he leaps to the attack.
Elsewhere in the Satellite...
"Oh, this is just too perfect... Those costumed hotheads
are busy pounding on each other... I can steal the computer core,
run to the teleporter, and kill the Batman while I am at it. I
could retire on that kind of money." ,laughs the Shadow Thief
silently. He begins to look for the central computer core.
"Take that meat!" ,shouts Shayera Thal as she finishes
emptying a Lexcorp blaster into the target. "I didn't think
it was possible, but you guys finally came up with some guns worth
"You are a natural at this sort of thing, Ms. Thal."
,says Dan Turpin. "I guess the Thanagarian cops had a more
intensive training that even we do."
"Our police and our military had the same training... think
about what a squad of Navy SEALS could do on the street with these
weapons and you are only starting to imagine what a squad of Wingmen
could do." ,says Shayera grimly.
"Well, it shows. Commissioner Emmett, I don't think that
you needed our help here at all... Ms. Thal here handles these
weapons like a natural." ,says Dan Turpin.
"Yeah... just as long as she remembers little things like
due process while she is at it." ,says Commissioner Emmett.
"Well, sir, some of my recent... experiences... have given
me a newfound appreciation for things like that. I think you know
what I am talking about." ,says Shayera. *
"Yeah, I guess I do..." ,says Commissioner Emmett.
(Shayera Thal gained the memories of her pre-CRISIS incarnation
as well as those of the Golden Age Hawkgirl in our first faux-dc
issue! Commissioner Emmett was there.)
"OK, Batman, I've played nice long enough... if you won't
listen to reason, I don't have time to play." ,says Hawkman
as he activates his Hawk Talon. Suddenly an intense sound wave
fills the room. Batman cries out in pain, his hands going for
the earplugs in his utility belt... as both he and Hawkman see
the Shadow Thief fall out of the shadows, clutching his ears.
"There you are!" ,smiles Hawkman as he fires off an
electrical blast from his talon to strike the Shadow Thief, who
yowls in pain.
"All right, Hawkman... so you weren't lying about the Shadow
Thief... but that still doesn't make you reliable." ,says
the Batman, grimly as he walks toward the unconscious Shadow Thief.
"Batman... wait! He's only..." ,Hawkman shouts as the
Shadow Thief leaps up and viciously chops down on the Batman.
"Well, birdboy, it's good to see you again. I heard you were
out of the hero racket a while back... it's nice to be able to
have a familiar face to pound on again" ,says the Shadow
Thief as he hurls some shadowy Shuriken at Hawkman.
"Nice to see you again too Sands. It looks like you almost
even have your self respect back... it's amazing what a Thanagarian
Shadow Generator can do for a second rate sneaker like you"
,says Hawkman as he bats the Shuriken down with his mighty mace.
"Second rate! I have a few minutes until I make my retirement
by putting the Batman down for keeps." ,laughs the Shadow
Thief. "Then I take this computer core, and walk out over
here. I may even get a bonus for killing you... but I'd doubt
it. Your value really plummeted after that disappearing act of
"Funny man Sands... you just made one, tiny mistake... You
see, you aren't the only guy who can play dead." ,smiles
Hawkman grimly as the Batman kicks the Shadow Thief's legs out
from under him.
"Sorry Sands... but your powers don't make you any tougher
now than they used to back when you were just a second rate assassin."
,says the Batman as he throws the Shadow Thief into the wreckage
created by the fighting in the satellite.
"Not there Batman! That's where we stored the Solar Sail!"
"I'm almost ready to believe that you are Carter Hall...
only a JLA member could know that... or someone with a Thanagarian
Absorbascon." ,says Batman.
"Looks like you made a big mistake, Batboy... this Solar
Sail is nice. Let's see how solar absorption helps my shadows."
,laughs the Shadow Thief. The room goes completely dark. There
is a bright light and then all returns to normal.
"He got away! Do you think he used the teleporter?"
"I think that's what he tried to do. But that was his mistake.
You know why." ,says the Batman grimly.
"Yeah... the teleporter memory is locked into the computer
core... if he stole that and then used the teleporter... he'd
be scrambled across the globe." ,shudders Hawkman.
"Maybe originally, Hawkman... but I altered the security
interlocks when Bruce Wayne took possession of the satellite."
,says the Batman. "The teleporters wouldn't work without
that memory. I can't explain what happened"
"You mean when you took control of it, Bruce." ,says
"That's dangerous knowledge, Hawkman. I'm not sure I trust
someone who can't even prove who he is with knowledge of who I
am." ,says the Batman grimly. "I'll be watching you
like a hawk, if you'll excuse the expression... if you do one
thing that makes me suspect you again... you will be dealt with."
"You always were the suspicious type, kid. Even used a fake
name when you approached me to train you in weapons back in your
college days. But doesn't the Shadow Thief have your ID now? After
all, it was in the JLA computers..." ,says Hawkman.
"Fortunately, no. I deleted all information pertaining to
myself when the original League disbanded. All Sands has is the
true identities of the others... meaning he knows nothing new.
Hal Jordan's ID was made public when he died, like Barry Allen's.
Zatanna, Elongated Man, you, and Ollie Queen's were public as
well. No, the information on the members isn't useful to anyone...
but the information on our cases may be." ,says Batman. "I'll
inform the other JLA members. Now what were you doing here?"
"Just trying to get a ride back home... can I use your teleporter?"
,says Hawkman sheepishly.
"There's one in the Gotham Gardens, hidden in a tool shed.
Here's the key." ,says Batman as he tosses the key to Hawkman
and vanishes into the shadows.
"I always hated it when he did that." ,says Hawkman
to the silent room.
"I really feel like a first-class idiot, sir. The Shadow
Thief hammered me pretty badly." ,says Joe Public.
"I understand, son. Not everyone can set the world on fire
right off the bat. Maybe you could use some training." ,says
"Well, sir, I don't know who to turn to. Batman rejected
me, and the JLA doesn't have any time for us young heroes. I know
a few other guys in Gotham that have the powers, but just don't
have the experience." ,says Joe Public.
"Maybe I can help you guys out." ,says Hawkman. "Not
every superguy in the world is like Batman. Here's my address.
Let's try and meet up sometime and maybe I can give you guys some
pointers." ,says Hawkman.
"Thanks a lot sir! You don't know what this means to me!"
,says Joe Public.
Chicago. The office of the Mayor.
"You want me to do WHAT?" ,shouts Commissioner Emmett.
"Simple enough, Emmett. Think of the publicity if Chicago's
new metahuman crime unit is headed up by a noted superhero. You
have Hawkwoman in our ranks anyway. Turpin already said that she's
the best qualified for the job." ,says the Mayor calmly.
"Yeah, but you've seen her record, sir! She's got a tendency
to shoot first and ignore due process." ,says Commisioner
Emmett angrily. "She may be a little different, but can we
take the inevitable protests?"
"The word has come down from above, Emmett. Put Thal in charge
of the new unit." ,says the Mayor.
Another world, far away...
"How did I get here?" ,cries the Shadow Thief.
"Welcome to Xarapon, stranger." ,says a shadowy individual.
"It is rare that one of your world enters ours. I feel we
have much to teach one another."
The Shadow Thief smiles. "Maybe we do at that." His
evil laughter echoes throughout the darkness.
"Hi honey, I'm home!" ,says Katar.
"Welcome home son!" ,says Naomi Carter
"Mother! You are home early! Where's Shayera?" ,says
"She called to say that she would be late, son." ,says
Naomi Carter with a smile.
"I wonder what's keeping her." ,says Katar.
The door opens and Dennis Baitan, Katar's friend and mechanic
enters the room. "Hey there Katar... I just finished the
work that you wanted me to do on your car. I'll start to work
on Shayera's bike tommorrow."
"Thanks Dennis!" ,smiles Katar. "Join us for dinner?"
"Sure thing!" ,says Dennis Baitan.
The door opens and Shayera comes in. "I have some great news!
I got promoted today! They put me in charge of the metahuman task
force at the station."
"Congradulations Shayera!" ,says Dennis
"I am not sure about this honey." ,says Katar. "Remember
what a special task force did to our homeworld... it became a
police state overnight."
"Oh, you worry too much Peacock." ,says Shayera. "Besides,
I know the risks of a job like that better than anyone. If anybody
can make it work right, without becoming a monstrosity, it's me."
"I am still worried, sweetheart... but I am proud of you,
and I have confidence in you, at least." ,says Katar with
"Well, then, let's go celebrate!" ,says Shayera as she
Meanwhile, out in space....
"Report Commander Andar." ,says Deron Ved
"Well, sir, Kanjar Ro has agreed to assist our war effort
against those that are responsible for the downfall of Thanagar."
,says Fel Andar stiffly.
"Excellent. The forces of Earth know Kanjar Ro and his Gamma
Gong all too well. Soon, we will land on Earth... and the heart
of Katar Hol will be mine!" ,says Deron Ved.
Next issue! The Gentleman Ghost!
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