It’s strange how your whole existence can get kind of metaphysical sometimes.

One minute, you’re racing through your city, protecting the general populace from various bad guys. The next you’re faced with the personification of your power source. And it’s your long-dead uncle/ idol.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The simple truth is, I’m a superhero that had to face a whole lot of crap recently. Somehow, I made it through it all, and ended up okay. At the end of the day, I was home with my wife, ready to start my next day as the world’s premier working class costumed hero.

My name is Wally West, and I’m the Fastest Man Alive…

Faux DC presents

#13
Organized

by Tony Thornley

When it comes to supervillains, there are several classes. Superman faces the most powerful, threats that could potentially end the world as we know it. Batman stares down the most intelligent, but they are also the craziest, hatching the most amazing schemes. Wonder Woman deals with literally mythic threats, monsters that most people pray are just a bedtime story. Green Lantern looks alien threats in the eye, and now he can laugh at them. He didn’t used to.

My bad guys? What sets them apart?

The Rogues are organized. They’re practically a super villain union, with all the benefits. And that makes them more dangerous than any of the others’ foes. For me though, stopping the Rogues is just another day…

A typical Tuesday afternoon in Keystone Central Bank was incredibly slow. After the lunch rush, few customers would walk through the front door. There were exceptions however, which is why no one paid attention to the five men that entered the lobby at separate times, in addition to a small batch of regular customers. A minute or so after the fifth man walked in, he suddenly spun and threw a small object at the guard- a boomerang. The weapon exploded with a loud bang and a flash of light. The man nearest the guard spun, kicked him in the chest and punched him in the face, knocking him out cold.

“Excuse me,” said the first man to enter, backing away from the teller he was speaking to. He drew a strange looking gun and fired it at the security cameras, encasing them in ice.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he called. “Your attention please! My name is Captain Cold, and you’re now in the middle of a bank robbery!” Each of the five men stripped down, revealing brightly colored costumes beneath their clothes. Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Captain Boomerang and Abra Kadabra joined Captain Cold in the middle of the bank.

“We don’t want to hurt anyone,” Cold said as he revealed his own costume and donned his signature glasses. Mirror Master tossed him his heavy parka and he slid it onto his shoulders.

“All we want is the contents of the vault,” he continued. “You co-operate, we’re out of your hair within an hour. You don’t, it will get a little ugly. Hostages, a stand-off, so on. Does everyone understand?”

“I don’t see how they can’t,” Mirror Master muttered.

“Shut up McCullough,” Weather Wizard whispered.

“I-I’m the manager,” said a balding man sitting behind a desk in the corner. “I can let you in the vault, if you promise not to hurt any of us.”

“He just made you that promise,” Boomerang said with a mocking tone. Cold shot Harkness a withering glare and turned back to the manager.

“You have my word,” Cold said. “No police, no heroes, and we’re good.”

“Does that include me?” a voice suddenly said from the door. The Rogues spun to see a familiar crimson and gold clad figure. The Flash waved at the quintet, a wide grin on his face.

“You guys didn’t even get into the vault,” he said. “I think that’s new record.”

“Indeed,” Kadabra said, “it appears it is.” He extended his arm and a column of smoke rose from the ground right next to Flash. The magician jumped from the column and punched Flash across the face. Wally rolled with the punch, slid under Kadabra, and shoved him to the ground while he was off-balance. He slammed into the granite floor face-first. There was a spurt of blood from his nose, and he was unconscious.

“Smooth Flasher,” Boomerang said. “Take out our muscle first.” Wally grinned.

“Guess that means you’re volunteering to be next,” he said. Wally dashed forward, and Digger tossed a boomerang at him. Wally moved to dodge, but the boomerang exploded into a cloud of smaller projectiles. He grimaced as he braced himself for what was about to come. His momentum would take him right into the cloud of mini-boomerangs. The only hope he had to avoid a sea of bruises or cuts was to go around. Covering his face with his arms, he dropped and slid across the floor. Several of the boomerangs sliced into his arms and chest, but he ignored the pain. His enhanced metabolism would help him heal quickly.

“Cute Digger,” Captain Cold said, aiming his gun in front of Wally’s feet. He fired and created a slick of ice in front of Flash, sending him skidding out of control. He slammed into the counter, and his head exploded into pain. Weather Wizard extended his wand, a small ball of static electricity already gathered on the tip. He blasted Flash with the bolt of lightning. Wally convulsed as pain racked his body.

“McCullough, get us out of here,” Cold growled. “Now!” Mirror Master nodded and threw one of his mirrors at the wall. The group of Rogues dashed through, Weather Wizard hesitating for a moment by Kadabra.

“Leave him!” Cold called. “He deserves it!”

The group vanished, and the mirror clanged to the ground and shattered, now useless. Flash shook his head and stood.

“Dammit,” he whispered. “At least I got one of them.” Outside, the sound of police sirens started to grow loud. Keystone Police Department had gotten quicker over the years. Probably influenced by the twin cities’ speedster heroes. Wally walked over to Kadabra and turned him onto his back.

“Hope you don’t mind trading the tux for prison orange,” he muttered.

“Sounds like you did good out there today,” Linda West called from the kitchen of Linda and Wally’s apartment. She stuck her head around the corner and looked at Wally. “In fact, if Boomerang didn’t have that new toy, Kadabra wouldn’t have been the only one behind bars today.”

“No kidding,” Wally muttered. “Thank goodness most of these guys are already fugitives and parole violators. Makes putting them back into prison so much easier.”

“Agreed,” Linda laughed. She was silent for several seconds. “Do you want the sauce cooked into the pork or on top?”

“Cooked in,” he said. “That sounds pretty good.” Wally sighed. “Dammit. Why do these guys keep coming back?”

“It could be worse,” she said. “At least it’s only those five or so. A handful of bad pennies.”

“A bad nickel,” Wally laughed. “Yeah, you’re right about that. With Heat Wave, Trickster and Piper gone straight, it’s been this quintet for so long. Most of the other Rogues have been quiet.”

“Too quiet?” Linda asked.

“You’re talking like Br-Batman. Or even Dick. I’m not paranoid like that. Never have been.”

“Yeah,” Linda said, “I know. But you know the reporter in me. Paranoid is the name of the game.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I know.” Linda walked into the dining room, two plates of food in her hands. She sat them on the table, one in front of an empty chair, one in front of Wally. She walked behind him and began massaging his shoulders. She kissed the top of his head.

“Now, time to stop worrying about the Rogues,” she said. “We have just enough time to eat dinner before I have to be to the station for work.”

“Thanks Honey,” he said. “Thank you. I love you.”

“You too,” she whispered.

Three miles outside of Keystone

Iron Heights Penitentiary was the world’s premiere super-human prison, and the reason why many supervillains hadn’t seen the light of day in years. Warden Gregory Wolfe sat in his office, watching the security screen randomly cycle through several cameras, stopping briefly each time. The facility was quiet, as it was nearly every day.

He had taken every precaution he needed to ensure the facility was completely secure. There was a reason why Iron Heights flew under the radar. The largest superhuman corrections facility in the nation- Arkham Asylum- was also the least secure. Breakouts happened almost daily. Not so with Iron Heights. Warden Wolfe had made the prison Rogue-proof. All mirrored surfaces were handled only by guards, and were designed to shatter in a near-dust state if necessary. Every brick was coated with a heat and ice resistant chemical. The electrical grid was set up to absorb and store the energy of a lightning strike. The prison was prepared for the special brand of villainy Keystone produced.

“Warden Wolfe,” said a voice over his radio, Captain Maurice Myers, “Inmate 2615 has arrived.” Wolfe picked up the radio.

“Thank you Captain,” Wolfe said. “Order a full-lockdown. I want the inmates to know Kadabra’s here, but I want not a solitary peep out of any of them, understood?”

“Yes sir!” Myers said. He heard the order to go on lockdown immediately after. The warden smiled. The magician would never see the light of day again.

“So what’s our play now?” Mark Mardon asked. Weather Wizard appeared to pace back and forth in the Rogues’ warehouse base of operations, but a small whirlwind kept him several inches above the ground.

“Well,” Captain Cold said, leaning aback in his chair, “step one was simple. We just needed to get one of us into Iron Heights. Flash played his role perfectly. Now all we need to do is activate our failsafe and we pull Kadabra out.”

“Along with every other Rogue?” McCullough asked.

“Oh no,” Cold said. “Not everyone. But enough.” Snart removed several photographs from his parka and tossed them onto the table in the middle of their small meeting space. The other three stepped closer to the table and Digger fanned out the photos. They each smiled.

“Nice mate,” Digger said. “Very very nice.”

Wally rocketed through the streets of Keystone, alone with his thoughts. His reverie was occasionally interrupted by a mugging or convenience store robbery, but he put each crime to rest quickly.

Now that I have some time to think, wow, he thought. It’s good to have my speed back completely. Everything that caused it to go nuts really made me take a step back. Is the life of a superhero all I want? All I’ll ever do? He sighed. He loved the thrill, loved being the Flash, but he loved his life with Linda more. He would have given up the life of a speedster in a heartbeat, especially if his speed had never returned.

Of course he would have asked Jesse Quick to take over as the Flash if that happened. Or maybe Bart, if he would be mature about it.

The police scanner in his earpiece suddenly sparked to life. He was surprised to hear his name in the broadcast.

“Flash, if you’re listening to this, please meet us on the roof of KCP-“ Wally was on the roof before the voice finished.

“-D,” finished the shocked police detective. Wally grinned and offered his hand.

“Detective,” he said, “sorry. Pleased to meet you.”

“You too,” he said, offering his hand. “Detective Mark Eliot. You just missed our new junior ME and crime scene tech, LaShawn Baez, and my partner, Fred Chyre. They thought they had enough time to grab a cup of coffee before they joined us.” Eliot had a slight British accent and a comforting tone. Wally liked the man almost instantly.

“Detective,” he said, “it’s good to meet you. How can I help you?”

“Holy crap, he’s already here,” growled a voice from the roof entrance. Wally turned to see two people he assumed were Baez and Chyre. The young black woman walked towards him with an eager smile and offered her hand.

“It’s an honor,” LaShawn said. Wally smiled and shook.

“The same,” he said. “Detectives, how can I help you?”

“Well,” Eliot said, “the three of us have been selected to head up a separate division within KCPD to deal with Rogue-related crimes. The department’s also hired a profiler, Ashley Zolomon, to assist us.”

“We wanted to let you know we’re here,” Chyre said. “And for some reason, the city wants to officially deputize you too. Give you some measure of authority. Don’t understand why…”

“Okay,” Wally laughed, “I’m glad for the help. A dedicated anti-Rogue task force though? Makes sense. Kind of like the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit.”

“Almost exactly,” Eliot said. “We’d appreciate any help you can give.”

“I’m here for you,” Wally said. “I’ll keep in touch.”

“Please,” Eliot said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. He handed it to Wally. He took the card, glanced at it, and gave them all a two-fingered salute.

“Detectives, it’s been a pleasure. Back to work.”

“We’ll talk to you soon then,” Chyre said, and then Wally was gone.

NEXT ISSUE: Prison Break!!