Usual Disclaimers: Wally, Linda and all other well-known characters in this episode are copyright to DC comics, blah blah blah.

Faux DC Presents:

Issue #1

Bodies of water, Part 1.

By Bryan Albright

The sun rose over a beautiful body of water while a boat rocked gently in the breeze. Sitting in the boat were a man and a woman, he with red hair, she with raven black hair. She is of Asian descent, while he is purely Caucasian. She has thin, whiplike figure, with beautiful hazel-brown eyes, high cheekbones, beautiful, pouty lips, and a pert nose with a slight curve to it. She was lounging in the stern of the boat, dangling her fingertips in the water, gazing on the young man seated across from her.

"So, where-ever did you get your rugged good-looks, speed-boy?" she asked lightly.

Wally, looking slightly startled at the question, responds quickly, "From god," then he grins, "and a bit-o-help from my parents."

"Aaaah" Linda Park, the news reporter, replies, "That explains it then," and giggles mischeviously.

She begins to rock the boat, just a little at first, then more and more.

"Hang on, cuz here we go!" she shouts, and with an enormous effort, flips the boat over

. Wally, not expecting trouble, flounders in the surf for a bit, then comes up and with an evil grin, flings water in Linda's face.

She splutters and then says, "Now you're gonna get it!" and lunged at him, wiggling fingers outstretched, aiming at his sides.

Wally's eyes widen with mock fear, and just as her fingertips brush his now sodden tee shirt, he disappears, reappearing just behind her, his fingers now wriggling along her ribs.

"HAHAHAHahhahahahah," she screams. "A hee hee, that's ha ha not fair!!! WAaaaAAAallleeeee!!!"

Wally stops tickling her, and envelopes her in rib-crushing hug kissing her passionately. Minutes later, Wally disengages and goes and flips the boat back over.

"Now Linda, that was not nice," he says. "We're all wet now."

"Yeah, we are," she says as she climbs back into the boat, "but I know how we can get dried off," and glances at him with an arched eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?" Wally asks, his interest piqued. "How's that?"

"Weeellll, give me your hand for a second." Wally does so, and she pulls it towards her chest.

Wally's mouth drops open and she giggles.

"You've got a dirty mind, young man. Now wave your hand at me." He does so. "Faster." He speeds up. "Faster."

Wally catches on and begins to wave his hand at an inhuman rate. Linda is buffeted by the wind created from his flapping hand, her long black hair flowing out behind her, her clothes whipping in the wind. In a matter of seconds, she is dried off.

A large man dressed in dark tones sat deep in the shadows of a darkened room contemplating the contents of a map sitting on a desk next to a computer screen. He put a finger on the map, murmured to himself, nodded and turned to the keyboard. He punched a few keys, sat and thought for a bit, then hit a few more. After nodding to himself, he turned back to the map, then to an old, dusty tome sitting on a book pedestal just behind his chair. He flipped open the book and traced his finger down the page, his eyes scanning back and forth, until he found the section he was looking for. He cracked his fingers, carefully spoke a few words, moved his fingers in precise patterns, and a eery, glowing figure formed before him.

"Go, little one, and show me what I wish to see," he tells the luminescent, winged figure before him.

The little creature cheeps, nods and launches itself skyward, soon becoming lost to the eye as it streaks towards its destination.

Wally frowns, thinking deeply, "Now, how am I going to dry myself?" he asks. He thinks a few more seconds and then says, "Let me try something."

He concentrates deeply a few seconds, another, deeper frown creasing his forehead. He begins to radiate heat, and Linda notices that his clothes are beginning to blur. Then, with a loud exclamation, his shirt bursts into fire, then explodes, then his jeans and shoes.

"Dammit!" he cries and jumps back into the water, patting his chest and thighs while doing so. "That stings."

He morosely climbs back into the boat, his mood somber now. Linda, takes the opportunity to admire him, noticing his wavy red hair, his muscular runner's physique, sharply chiseled facial features, and sparkling, devilish blue eyes. She sighed, and the thoughts 'Man, its no wonder I'm in love with him.' streaked through her head. Wally sighed, and Linda was snapped out of her reverie.

"Did you see that?" he asked, breathless. She noticed that he had broken out of his somber mood. "I almost had it. I almost got the clothes dry without a problem, just by exciting the molecules of the clothing, and causing them to head up, I was drying them off...then I got too excited and blooie! I lost it."

"Yeah, I noticed." Linda looked sharply at him.

It was then that Wally noticed that she was covered with a fine black soot. "Oh. Sorry, dear. Let me help." And with that, he started the "waving hand" routine again. The soot flew off Linda and became a black cloud hovering just above the water behind Linda.

"Thanks sweetie." Linda said. "Now how abouts getting us back to the shore so we can get some lunch? I'm starving. And, as much as I like looking at your fine body, I think you should put some clothes on before you start to get a sunburn."

In the background, unbeknownst to the happy couple, a glowing creature alit on a branch of a tree nearby. It pulled a few leaves from another nearby branch and stuck them in the hair atop its head, grabbed two small branches with leaves on them, and then began viewing the two in the boat.

"Oh, you don't want to slather me up with suntan oil?"

"No dear, that's your juvenile fantasy for me, not vice-versa."

Wally looked playfully downcast and sighed dramatically, "Oh well, I guess it'll have to be next time."

He reached down and picked up the oars, and began to serenely swing the boat about to head back to their picnic basket.

"You know Wally....." Linda began, then looked past Wally's head her eyes widening in fright, "Ummm...perhaps you should row just a bit faster... and maybe the other way!"

Wally looked over his shoulder and saw the wall of water that was bearing down on their little boat...he put on the meta-human speed that was his nature, and swung the boat around, and rowed quickly away from the wave...and directly into another one. Wally and Linda spluttered.

"Bail the boat out, I'm gonna try to get us to shore." Wally shouted.'Before these freaky waves swamp us' he thought.

Wally bent to his task, really putting on the speed. Just as they thought they were going to get away scott free, the oars began to get heavy. Really heavy. Wally grunted and tried to put more muscle into rowing, but the paddles were becoming immobile. He glanced out at the oar-tips and saw what looked like the water was moving with the paddles. He lifted one up and saw that a solid block of water seemed to be clinging to the blade of the oar. Wally gritted his teeth, and tried even harder, a trickle of blood dripping from one nostril. Then, SNAP! CRAK! the oar handles broke in half and he was flung to the bow of the boat, smacking his head on the gunwale, and the world faded to black for him.

The man in black sat back, a blank stare in his eyes, his hands steepled in front of his chest.

'Now that's interesting,' he thought, 'I thought he would've used his speed powers to help him out.'

The figure shrugged and resumed his stare at nothingness.

Linda saw Wally hit the edge of the boat, and fall like a limp rag to the floor. Then a shadow fell over her. She turned to look up ...and up ....and up a column of water to see a man wearing a purplish-grey, scaly costume grinning down at her. He looked like he came from the old movie, "Creature From the Black Lagoon."

"Now I shall teach you to pollute my waters!" he cried.

'Geesh, how corny,' Linda thought, 'he's been reading too many Super-friends comics.'

The monster-man reached down and grabbed Linda and a wave formed behind him and began to propel him away from the cove and out into the main body of water, away from the unconscious Wally.

Next Issue

Send Comments to Bryan Albright- bryana@uswest.net

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