# 218
The All-Star Legion of America in "The Secret Emperor, Part Eight"
By Mikel Midnight (suggested by, and with additional prose and dialog from, a plot by Dashiell Hammett)

"Leonidas Doucas." Captain Tootsie's voice is flat and toneless. "We meet again."

"Enough-with-the-cliches, Captain," Leonidas Doucas parries. "The-All-Star-Legion-of-America-has-been-a-thorn-in-my-side-for-almost-a-year. I-weary-of-this-endless-dueling."

"That's what you call this? Dueling? Where are the rest of my team?"

"Captain, you-wound-me. Tamar-would-never-do-anything-to-harm-your-associates, she-merely-sought-to-protect-our-household. She-subdued-them-quite-effectively-but-I-can-assure-you-they-are-fine, and-will-be-released-as-soon-as-we-are-concluded-here."

"I know what your promises are worth."

"I-have-never-made-you-any-promises." He leans back in his chair, regarding Captain Tootsie through half-lidded eyes. "My-word-is-truth-itself."

"I looked through those files for quite some time, before ... Miss Wonderly ... interrupted me. You've been blackmailing public figures for fifteen years."

"Blackmail-is ... such-an-uncouth-word. I-am-a-newspaper-man, Captain. I-buy-and-sell-information. My-clients-would-agree, I-am-sure, that-were-I-to-uncover-information-about them-which-would-be-in-the-public-interest-to-reveal, it-is-only-right-to-give-them-the-opportunity-to-rebut-an-allegation-first. Some-of-them-choose-not-to-rebut, choosing-instead-to-reimburse-me-for-the-monetary-loss-I-incur-by-withholding-a-saleable-story."

"Very noble of you."

"Thank-you-for-recognising-my-motivations-for-what-they-are. In-addition, my-actions-serve-to-maintain-the-stability-of-the-governing-authority. Some-of-this-information-would-be-quite-disruptive-to-the-status-quo-of-a-civil-society, as-you-might-imagine."

"You told me once you were after power. Why this convoluted route? Surely with all your money and influence, you could run for office yourself."

"Tamar-has-told-you-of-our-family-background. Since, being-of-the-Hebraic-persuasion, I-may-not-be-President, I-decided-to-be-the-power-behind-the-throne ... to-be-secret-emperor-of-America."

Captain Tootsie shakes his head. "The United States isn't like that."

"Do-not-be-naive, Captain. There-is-no-Benjamin-D'israeli-in-American-history. It-will-be-generations-before-a-woman-or-a-Negro-could-even-be-considered-a-viable-Presidential-candidate. The-opportunities-for-a-non-Christian-are-negligable."

"And you're now preparing to take the country? That's what all this is about, isn't it? Supporting opposing candidates, pitting them against one another?

"I-have-jockeyed-Senator-Jarboe-into position-where-he-will-be-nominated-for-president-by-one-party, and-Rushton-by-the-other. I-have-information-on-Rushton-to-spring-during-the-campaign, which-will-invariably-lead-to-his-defeat. Jarboe-is-honest, but-vulnerable. His-vice-president-will-be-a man-named-Haldorn, who-is-both-vulnerable-and-weak. The-plan-is-to-force-Jarboe-to-resign, making-the-tool-Haldorn-president."

"And Dolliard knew about Haldorn ... he was planning to make the information public, wasn't he? So you uncovered material in his wife's background which would have led to her being deported or arrested ... "

"I-had-no-way-of-knowing-that-Dolliard-would-invoke-your-aid, of-course. That-was-most-unfortunate. It-was-an-error-on-my-part, as-well, to-have-been-unaware-that-your-friend-'U.S.'-Royal-had-a-history-with-Helene-Dolliard."

"But Dolliard did ... invoke our aid ... as you put it. You don't really believe we'll let you get away with this. Word will get out ... "

"Twice-I-have-laid-similar-plans, each-time-defeated." He shrugs, "As-you-can-see, I-am-a-modest-man-and-not-above-admitting-to-my-faults. If-I-fail-this-time, I-will-try-again, knowing-the-laws-of-averages-will-give-me-victory-and-power-sooner-or-later, and-then-I-will-have-the-country."

"My country isn't here to be bought and sold."

"Your-country? This-is-a-nation-of-immigrants, Captain. You-have-no-more-claim-to-it-than-I-do."

"I don't ... " Captain Tootsie's words are interrupted by the sound of gunshots. "Hootin' zoots!" He rises to his feet, "You promised me ... "

"Captain, Captain," Leonidas Doucas speaks quickly as he rises to his feet. "I-assure-you, I-had-no-plan-to-harm-your-associates. If-you-will-accompany-me-I-am-sure-any-misunderstandings-will-be ... "

The door to the study opens, and Old Nick Talbert steps in, revolver brandished in his hands. "There is no misunderstanding," he says. "I think we've all heard enough."

"You-have-heard-nothing," Leonidas Doucas scoffs.

Old Nick shakes his head. "I had 'U.S.' Royal plant listening devices in your house. That was his real intention here. And this is mine." He fires, once and then once again, at the man who would have been the Secret Emperor.

"Hootin' zoots," Captain Tootsie says softly, "the All-Star Legion aren't killers, Nick."

"No, you're not, which is why I ... ack." His words are silenced as a wire cord is drawn around his throat. Captain Tootsie jumps in to intercept Tamar Doucas, her white pantsuit stained red at the shoulder, but Old Nick's trachea is crushed in the moment before he reaches her. She howls like a wild animal, wriggling free of his grip and tearing at Old Nick with her nails as he collapses onto the floor.

"It's over, Tamar." He pulls her off the body, "It's all over now."

Her hands fly up to her face like birds fluttering to the sky, and the sounds of her cries fill the air.

END.

ANNOTATIONS

This team was organised (though not named) by Roy Thomas in the pages of All-Star Companion Volume Two, along with a group illustration by Shane Foley. All the characters originally appeared in one-page advertising strips in the pages of All-Star Comics as well as other publications.

Captain Tootsie and his Secret Legion were used to advertise Tootsie Rolls.
Volto was used to advertise Grape Nuts.
'U.S.' Royal was used to advertise bicycle tires made by the United States Rubber Company.
R.C. was used to advertise R.C. Cola.
Thom McAn was used to advertise Thom McAn shoes.
Bazooka was used to advertise Bazooka bubble gum.
Old Nick was used to advertise Old Nick candy bars

Not included are R.C.'s younger sidekick Quickie, and Bit-O-Honey from the same company that produced Old Nick (used to advertise Bit-O-Honey candy bars); neither were in Shane Foley's group illustration, and I felt neither would have contributed much to the team dynamic.

My representation of R.C. is selectively inaccurate. He and Quickie were generic adventurers, who only in one episode were portrayed wearing baseball uniforms, but I felt it made R.C. stand out and gave him an identifiable gimmick.

"The Secret Emperor" is the title of a 1925 unwritten novel by Dashiell Hammet; this storyline hews relatively closely to his character descriptions and outline; the characteristics intended for Hammet's alter ego Elfinstone have been divided amongst the All-Star Legion members.

B&tB #211:
The name "Talbert" comes from Hammett's outline. It's a little unclear, but it may be an alternate name for Dolliard. It's Talbert who commits suicide in the original.

"Baltimore's Continental Options Bank" was named for Hammett's character, the Continental Op.

Peter Collinson is an occasional pen-name of Hammett's.

Anthony Travers is the Joel Cairo analog from the film Satan Met A Lady; his physical description however is derived from that of Bruno Gungen, a very similar character from the story "The Main Death."

"AEAEA" is the title of an unpublished Hammett short story, described as "a varient of the Frankenstein idea." The physical description of the character is from Mary Shelley's description of Frankenstein's monster.

Miss Wonderly was the name initially used by Brigid O'Shaughnessy in The Maltese Falcon, and has always suggested a Wonder Womanesque heroine to me. Her first line of dialog when Sam Spade asks what she wants, is "Could you--? I thought--I--that is--"

B&tB #212:
Thomas Stone is the real name of more than one alternate Tom Strong counterpart, and I thought the character's similarities were obvious.

Daghull Street is derived from Daghull Hammett, an occasional pen-name of Hammett's.

Enid Travers is derived from Enid Gungen, from "The Main Death."

The name of the original villain for "The Secret Emperor" was Sheth Gutman; however I felt this too similar to Kasper Gutman. The name Leonidas Doucas is derived from a very similar character from the story "Ruffian's Wife."

B&tB #213:
Sergeant Roy Dunhill is the Detective Tom Polhaus analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Lieutenant Pollock is the Lt. Dundy analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

The names Haldorn, Jarboe, and Rushton are all from Hammett's original outline. Jarboe is also the appelation used by a member of the alternative music group, The Swans. Michael Gira is a member of that group.

The idea that Volto may be a robot was suggested by Geoffrey Tolle.

B&tB #214:
It would be fairly obvious, following DC villain logic, for a group of criminals called the Swans (they are modelled after the Wonder Woman foe, Silver Swan) would attempt to steal the Maltese Falcon, but I felt it was just too cute. The analog from the film Satan Met A Lady is an 8th century ram's horn crammed with jewels, which I named the Maltese Shofar.

Sigla Syzik's name is derived from Algis Kizys, a member of the alternative music group, The Swans.

Ted Shane is the Sam Spade analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Valerie Purvis is the Brigid O'Shaughnessy analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Barabas Inc. is named for Madame Barabas, the Kasper Gutman analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Miss Murgatroyd is the Effie Perrine analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Kenneth is the Wilmer analog from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Leonidas Doucas' physical description is from "Ruffian's Wife," combined with Hammett's specifications for Sheth Gutman.

B&tB #215:
Astrid and Mr. Ames are the Miles and Iva Archer analogs from the film Satan Met A Lady.

Feel Good Now is the title of an album by The Swans.

Ted Shane's physical description is the famous one of Sam Spade from The Maltese Falcon.

B&tB #216:
Some of the prose for the ASLA's noirish battle against the police is borrowed from fellow Faux DC scribe Jonah Rite.

It's one of the secret glories of research that mythology frequently produces results which fits a story better than an author could possibly have imagined, as if it had all been planned in advance; the name Antaeus, which neatly ties together the Aeaea-quothing monsters with Dr. Power's bulletproof men, is just such a result.

Bazooka's injury, if this isn't obvious, sets him up to be the later (eyepatched, nonpowered) character Bazooka Joe.

B&tB #217:
Norman Westberg is a member of the alternative music group, The Swans.

Thom McAn's disguise, if this isn't obvious, sets him up to be the later character Mort, from the Bazooka Joe strip.

The Glass Key is a novel by Hammett, which shares some basic plot elements with "The Secret Emperor."

"The Gent from Frisco" was John Houston's working title in early script drafts for his filmed version of The Maltese Falcon.

Samuel Dashiell and Mary Jane Hammett were occasional pen-names of Hammett's.

Elfinstone was the name of the Sam Spade-ish protagonist of "The Secret Emperor."