*Continuity note: This story is set between issues 29 and 30 of Supergirl Maid of Steel.

“I swear… I was a Titan and best friends with Supergirl.”

Everyone in the circle of chairs groaned.

“Please not again.” The tall thin man next to the girl speaking sighed beneath his breath.

“Everyone. Please. Show Duela the respect she deserves.” Dr. Johns said, “She listened patiently and respectfully to each of you.”

“But, Dr. Johns…” A short dark-haired girl with a scar on her cheek said, sounding blustery. “She goes over the same stupid stories all the time. And none of them are true. Supergirl wasn’t even around back then… and Duela was never really a Teen Titan. She was in Titans West. It’s like a member of the pep squad trying to say they’re a cheerleader.”

“You’re so rude.” Duela said, nervously tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear. “But, it’s not your fault Denise.” Duela smiled brightly at her, “You’re from Bludhaven. Everyone knows that before the Crisis, there was no Bludhaven. So really, until a couple years ago, you didn’t even really exist. How can you be expected to be polite when you’ve only existed a few years now? You have twenty-three years of memories stuffed into five years. Of course, you’re angry and upset. Half of your memories are fake. And, you’re mind can’t cope. So, you do drugs so that it all makes sense.” Duela turned to Dr. Johns, “Denise can’t be blamed. There are a lot of people like this in the post-Crisis world. Newly created with a lot of unwieldy history.”

“Duela…” Dr. Johns sighed, “We’ve gone over this before. I thought we’d broken through your delusions… It was one of the only reasons we let you start attending group again.”

“They’re not delusions.” Duela said sweetly, “I only wish. Don’t you remember Dr. Johns? Don’t you remember the Crisis? It was only five years ago… but it feels like it was a lot longer. Time is weird. It’s like twenty years, but really only five have passed. You figure it out. Do you remember? It was like a massive battle and the infinite earths were destroyed, and then the Universes reformed into one single Universe. So, boom. One day we all just wake up with new memories. Where are you from Dr. Johns?”

“I’m from Century City.” He said, clearing his throat, “But I don’t know what that—“

“Oh. You have it even worse.” Duela said, “You’re not even from one of the Infinite Earths. You’re from a fan-fic Earth. Those are the worst! When you people get crammed in with the rest of us, suddenly it means that some pathetic fan-boy is ‘fixing’ apparent problems real writers have created. Yeah, you’ve got it worse than the rest of us.” Duela turned around from group, looking over her shoulder toward the Third Wall. “But, hey, at least on a fan-fic Earth someone like me has a fighting chance. Normally, real writers are busy explaining someone like me away, ignoring my existence, or killing me off in the latest company-wide cross-over for a shocking start to a very lackluster year-long experience in weekly comics. But, hey. It could be worse. I could be Donna Troy and have her origin issues. Sometimes being ignored and explained away to comic-book limbo is much better. And, hey at least none of my code names mean ‘bitch’ in a foreign language.”

“Who are you talking to Duela?” Dr. Johns asked, looking around the room.

“To them.” Duela said, motioning back to the Third Wall over her shoulder.

“Who are they?” Dr. Johns asked, looking at the area behind Duela.

“The people reading this. Duh.” Duela rolled her eyes. “Good lord. You’re a clueless guy for a doctor Dr. Johns.”

“Surely you understand Duela that you aren’t just a comic book character.” Dr. Johns said calmly.

“I understand a great many things, Dr. Johns. One of which is that someone is dragging out that old Surely-Shirley joke again.” Duela sighed, “So in the spirit of it all… I am just a comic book character. And my name’s not Shirley.”

Everyone in the therapy group groaned.

“More bad jokes.” Denise sighed.

Supergirl floated above the city, brooding as the sun slowly set, casting long golden shadows across Midway City. Summer was slowly starting to wrap it’s hands around the neck of Midway City, and it seemed more and more like it was going to be a hot miserable summer.

“You’ve crashed through the molten surface of planet Mercury and survived the freezing cold of space. Surely a hot summer isn’t going to do much more than make your hair a little fluffy.” Supergirl told herself quietly.

But, of course, she knew better than that. In space and in battle she was all Supergirl. In Midway City, with her friends and family, she was Linda Danvers. It was feeling more and more like this summer was going to kick her butt all over the place.

It had already been a rough year—Kara of Argo City’s disappearance, Phillip Decker’s attack, the incident on the Other Side with Selena Moonstone. She wasn’t sure what the deal with her and Dick Malverne was right now. Frowning, Supergirl wished she had super-hearing. Right now she would give anything to hear the noise and sound of the city below—letting that blot out her tangled bothered thoughts.

The city was quiet though. As it had been more and more lately. Crime levels had fallen. Much to the chagrin of her detractors in that stupid organization determined to get her outlawed as a vigilante. They often looked stupid when they debated her presence and continued operations in Midway City when confronted with the lower crime rates and fewer deaths through accidents. Having a Supergirl to rescue them and pull them from crushed cars, vehicles plunging over bridges, failing breaks, and the occasional rampaging horse-drawn carriage. Supergirl found herself wishing for some sort of mishap… if only to distract her from brooding.

Looking to the sky above, she considered flying up to the Watchtower to see who was hanging out. Then she changed her mind. Last time she had done that Brainiac 2.5 had kidnapped her and whisked her away to the Dawn of Time.

Just as she was preparing to go home and change back to Linda and kick back on the couch to watch re-runs of Wendy the Werewolf Stalker on DVD, she heard a loud thunderous sound—like a pounding.

“It sounds like someone punching the fabric of reality.” Supergirl whispered to herself, then shook her head. What a weird thing to say. And, what a corny thought. As though punches could change reality.

Supergirl flew toward the sound of the pounding, finding herself at Mount Mooney on the southside of Hawk Valley.

Standing atop the mountain’s highest peak, was a girl wearing a costume nearly identical to Supergirl’s. The only difference was the U-Shield over the girl’s heart rather than an S-Sheild. The girl’s blonde hair danced in the winds tearing ruthlessly at the top of the mountain. As her cruel dark blue eyes met Supergirl, a shiver went through Supergirl. It was like staring into a dark twisted mirror.

Hovering in the air several feet away, Supergirl watched as the girl slammed the mountain with her fist. Her fist was enclosed with a silver gauntlet, decorated with a bright shining purple gem in the bracelet part of the gauntlet.

“And who might you be?” Supergirl asked, even though she didn’t know if she really wanted to know.

“I’m Ultragirl.” The girl smiled darkly. “From Earth 3.”

“Earth 3? Never heard of it.” Supergirl replied. Was this girl somehow related to Ultra-Man from the Crime Syndicate of the Anti-Matter Universe Earth? Of course, Supergirl reasoned, it was just as likely she was another refuge from some Pocket Universe of Hypertime reality created by the Time Trapper.

“You will. Soon.” Ultragirl smiled, looking quite mad. “You see this—“ Ultragirl held up the silver gauntlet—the purple gem sparkling brightly in the setting sun, “Gives me the ability to change reality. To remake the world the way I remember it. The way it should have always been.”

Ultragirl slammed her fist into the mountain again—this time a bright flashing wave of colored light streaked away from the point of impact. It hit Supergirl, passing through her. When the light had faded and the temporary blindness it inflicted on Supergirl cleared, Supergirl found herself wearing a red headband over big curly blonde hair and an oddly dated version of her original skirted costume.

“Oh my God.” She said recognizing the costume as the one she’d seen on the Supergirl from before the Crisis. The Supergirl the Anti-Monitor had killed. “You threw up the 80’s on me.”

“That’s just my retcon wave.” Ultragirl laughed madly. “Try this one on for size!”

Ultragirl slammed down into the ground again, another brightly colored wave of light exploded from the action—washing over Supergirl.

When the light died out, Supergirl found herself floating in the air above some college she didn’t recognize.

“Welcome to Hudson University, the pride of New Carthage, New Jersey.”

Supergirl turned to the voice to find a purple-haired girl with white face paint and a green and purple costume with black and white checker patterns on half of it. Supergirl recognized the girl from her bizarre dream a few weeks ago after being knocked out by Baron Blitzkrieg*.

*See Supergirl the Maid of Might Annual 3

“Duela Dent?”

“Ssshh! You’ll ruin my secret identity! Or should I just call you Linda Danvers?”

“Sorry. Are you going by Joker’s Daughter or Harlequin?”

“You know that I’m calling myself the Mime these days due to the Joker’s crazy new girlfriend Harley Quinn.”

“Isn’t there a Batman villain called the Mime?”

“Blurg.” Duela Dent sighed, heavily. She shook her head. “Just my luck. I suppose this is what I get for naming myself after Batman villains in the early part of my career—when I was trying to get Robin’s attention.”

Floating there, in her tragically 80’s costume, Supergirl decided that rather than marvel at the unreality of her situation, she would just roll with the punches. Obviously those weird blasts of colored light coming from Ultragirl’s punches—retcon punches she’d called them, were messing with reality. She would figure out how to fix this—after she ditched the costume.

“Anyway…” Duela said, shaking her head. “I called you for a reason.”

“What reason is that?” Supergirl asked.

“Debbie Disco Queen is on the loose again. And we have to stop her.” Duela replied.

“Debbie Disco Queen? She’s that freak I fought last year who just disappeared.” Supergirl said. Had that really been a year ago? It seemed like it was much sooner, although it had been just before she’d gotten thrown back through time. Will Payton had still been her roommate and she’d still worked at the museum with Craig Morris. Time felt much weirder suddenly—as though a year had passed, but it only felt like a few months. Weird.

“And we’ve faced her many times together.” Duela said, putting her hands on her hips. “Remember when we infiltrated her disco a couple years back? And she nearly killed you with Gold K?”

“Gold K?” Supergirl whispered to herself. What the hell was that? Wait. Debbie Disco Queen had mentioned Gold K last year. She’d called it Gold Kryptonite. Said it was the most dangerous kind. But, there was no such think as Gold Kyptonite. “Oh. Gold K.” Supergirl nodded.

“Are you OK Supie?” Duela asked, wrinkling her nose. “You seem a little out of it.”

“It’s just this dreadful 80’s costume.” Supergirl replied.

“Well, it’s not really my personal taste.” Duela replied, “But it is 1986 and you are at the height of teen fashion.”

“1986?” Supergirl said, dim horror filled every inch of her being.

Duela Dent had just gotten back to her room after group therapy had gone awry. She was feeling tired and worn out. More and more lately that was the case. She figured it was because she was not taking the medications they were giving her. She’d started palming about six months ago, but she hadn’t stopped taking everything—knowing that they were giving her some meds to help with the odd aging disease that had afflicted her since the Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Duela smiled sadly, remembering the Crisis as it had actually unfolded. She was probably one of the only ones left with clear and complete memories of the Crisis.

While the rest of the heroes and even the villains had been waging war against the Anti-Monitor and his legions, Duela Dent had been selected by the Time Trapper along with seven other heroes and villains to go on a top secret mission. The Time Trapper had foreseen the Multiverse being reshaped into a single unified universe with a dark Anti-Matter reflection and that the Anti-Monitor’s essence would be reborn as Lord Xenon on a barbaric world in the Anti-Matter Universe. He had selected eight individuals to assist him.

Sometimes Duela didn’t know why she had accepted the mission. She had sensed something overwhelming evil about the Time Trapper. But, she had also sensed the inherent truth in what he had told her about Lord Xenon.

“Even if the heroes and villains of the remaining Multiverse win, the Anti-Monitor will be back. And, he will be stronger as Lord Xenon. And, no one will be able to stop him. Unless we intervene.” The Time Trapper had said.

Duela had stood there, a minor-league hero among other minor-league heroes and villains, and knew in her heart that there was no choice but to go along. Even though she knew it would cost her greatly. The Time Trapper had shown them all the future that awaited them if they didn’t take it. Duela saw a great career as a Titan and a deep abiding friendship with Supergirl—plus eventually marriage and a happy family in Midway City. And, then he had shown her Lord Xenon being reborn—and in his first act upon arriving on Earth had had destroyed all of Midway City, including Duela’s family. Duela had only escaped because she had been away on a Titans West mission.

The Trapper had shown Duela her entire life, unfolded and then destroyed in a moment. He had cautioned her that if she took the mission, due to the fickle nature of time and the future, she might never achieve the future she’d seen. But, he had assured her if she didn’t take the mission that it would play out exactly as he’d shown her. There had been no need to think about it. Save the lives of not only a family she might never have, but the entire city of Midway City. All those people added up to more lives than Duela and her maybe family. Those people were guaranteed to exist, regardless of the fluid nature of the future. Duela hadn’t hesitated and had taken on the mission.

Sometimes she wished she hadn’t. But, now, looking out over Midway City—still intact, she had made the right decision. Their mission had succeeded, despite it’s massive costs to the team the Trapper had sent, and Lord Xenon, though reborn, was no where near the power levels of the Anti-Monitor.

Split into three. An unholy trinity. Duela sang in her mind. Never able to reform. Never to be combined. Picked off one by one with minimum loss of life and danger.

Somehow, it seemed less minimum and dangerous now. In fact, it seemed more dangerous that there were three powermad monsters rampaging through the Universe. Even, if Lord Xenon was trapped in a prison in the center of Hypertime realities. Even though the Time Trapper continued to defeat Monarch’s various incarnations. Even though the third splinter of the Anti-Monitor was little more than a shell dwelling in Neron’s realm wearing the body and suit of the Anti-Monitor. His powers were great, but nowhere great enough to be what he had been. The essence of what made him the Anti-Monitor was gone—existing within Lord Xenon.

“Supergirl will kill Lord Xenon. I will defeat Monarch. And, the heroes of Earth will defeat the Anti-Monitor’s Shell over and over.” The Time Trapper had said. “And reality and time will be safe for all of us.”

Duela had only realized the Time Trapper’s double-cross of her and her team when their mission had led them to the Gemworld. She’d found the crystal ball, the one she still carried with her to this day, and in it she had watched the ragtag team the Trapper had assembled imprisoned at the end of their mission—encased in cylinders at the end of their mission. Duela had vowed that would not happen to her. And, while she had escaped the Trapper and his lair, he’d fired off one final shot at her—infecting her with a chronal virus which aged her and de-aged her randomly.

“Think of it as eternal life at a cost.” The Trapper had growled as the portal Duela had used to get back to Earth had closed. “You’ll never die. But, your body will get so old you’ll wish you could. And then it will get so young that you’re helpless again. And growing pains will rack your body and leaving you praying for a death that will never come.”

And, to his word, the chronal virus had played out just that way. To make matters worse, he’d reached out and erased parts of her life from the memory of her former teammates and friends—and sent back before the Crisis had even started in the new reality. She’d arrived just before Donna Troy’s wedding to find herself a portly middle-aged woman. She’d gone anyway. Even though Robin had barely rememberd her and everyone had treated her as though she hadn’t ever been a Titan—just someone they’d hung around with. Even worse was the fact that Bette Kane had been there. Duela and Betty Kane had been good friends once, but after the Crisis Betty Kane Bat-Girl was no more. Instead there was Bette Kane Flamebird. Duela wondered if Betty was still imprisoned in the Time Trapper’s lair, or if she’d been wiped out of existence since the Crisis.

Duela walked over to her crystal ball, lifting it gingerly and gazing into it.

In it, a team-up between she and Supergirl played out fighting the Incredible Volcano Man. It had never happened because the Crisis had wiped out that future—Supergirl had died. Even though she had never been meant to. She was supposed to have triumphed over the Anti-Monitor—being severly wounded and her powers greatly reduced, but she was supposed to have lived. She supposed it was just another example of the fluidity of the future and the Crisis’s ravages upon it.

Duela often felt content and at peace gazing into the crystal ball. Reliving a life that had never been and now could never be. Oddly, despite reminding her of all that she had lost, it also gave her reason to honor her sacrifice. She had helped save the world. Even if no one else knew it.

She felt a tickling in her head, and gritted her teeth. When Duela got confused and went a little mad it always started like this—a tickling and then full-on crazy. It had happened earlier in group, subsiding only after being expelled and sent back to her room. It troubled her that the times between mental lucidity and crazy were getting shorter and shorter.

“Damn it.” She hissed through gritted teeth. She should be taking her meds. But, part of her knew that it was far worse to live under the cloud of medication that left everything a blur blissful haze than to be lucid and sane all the time.

She put the crystal ball back in it’s place—her hands beginning to tremble. Before she could push the drawer shut, she looked down into the crystal ball, resting securely in it’s velvet box. In it she saw herself and Supergirl fighting Ultragirl from Earth 3.

“We never met Ultragirl.” Duela Dent whispered as her cognitive skills were lost.

Biting her lip and drawing blood, Duela felt dizzy and knew that she was going to tip over.

That was when she heard the distant knocking sound.

“Oh, uh.” Duela giggled madly, turning and looking toward the Third Wall. “Retcon punches. Wonder if it’s a mad Superboy? I hope Donna Troy is sitting still wherever she is. It’s probably about to get more complicated for her. Any wishes fanboys and girls? Maybe they’ll come true. Right now is probably an awesome time to complain about your favorite dead character or forgotten character or f-ed over continuity-wise character. Maybe we can get those fixed for you.”

Duela screamed as a massive seizure rocked her brain. It coincided with the wave of warmly colored light that tore through the wall of Duela Dent’s room and slammed into her—knocking her to her feet. The walls around her waxed and waned, fading away.

When the ripple effect cleared, Duela found herself standing, awake and sane, wearing her Harlequin costume on the roof of Cardy Hall at Hudson University.

As she stepped up, a wave of memories washed over her, laying perfectly on top of her other memories.

“I’m in my supposed-to-be post-Crisis reality!” Duela exclaimed, she then turned back toward the Third Wall and the readership sitting on the other side. “Oh goody! You guys! You’ll get to see what I should have been if not for people thinking I wasn’t sophisticated enough to exist in the Post-Crisis world. That Marv Wolfman. Had some good stuff for awhile, post-Perez it was just all over the place.”

Duela then whipped her head sharply away from the Third Wall and a quiet lucidity slipped over her, just as Supergirl flew into sight.

“Duela Dent?”

“Ssshh! You’ll ruin my secret identity! Or should I just call you Linda Danvers?” Duela groaned. These S-Shield heroes were almost as bad as the Bat Family heroes. They guarded their secret identities like they were top secret army plans, but never hesitated to call you by your real name. They were such jerks like that sometimes. It was a good thing she and Supergirl were such good friends.

“Sorry. Are you going by Joker’s Daughter or Harlequin these days?”

“You know that I’m calling myself the Mime these days due to the Joker’s crazy new girlfriend Harley Quinn.” Duela and Harley had clashed a few weeks back, and even though Duela had been the victor, she realized that Harlequin wasn’t quite the name she’d always wanted. She wasn’t sure if she wanted Mime, honestly. But, as long as she was doing a clown/Joker motif thing, then she needed something along those lines. Of course, she did talk a little much for the Mime thing to be a good name for her.

“Isn’t there a Batman villain called the Mime?” Supergirl asked.

“Blurg.” Duela Dent sighed, heavily. She shook her head. Of course there was. She was probably a mad killer. Weren’t there any happy clown-like people? “Just my luck. I suppose this is what I get for naming myself after Batman villains in the early part of my career—when I was trying to get Robin’s attention. Anyway, I called you for a reason.”

“What reason is that?” Supergirl asked.

“Debbie Disco Queen is on the loose again. And we have to stop her.” Duela replied. DeeDee (as Debbie Disco Queen preferred to be called) had taken over a disco across the river in Farmington New Jersey. The old Gabriel’s Horn Disco in fact—which had been the Teen Titan’s headquarters the first time she’d been a member. She had used her hypnotic disco-ball to take mental control of the entire neighborhood and it was like a 1970’s disco movie come to life—polyester suits, sequins, platform heels, and lots of bad disco music flooding the streets—as well as random dancing to the beat. And oddly, no one else had seemed to notice the unbelievable resurrengence in disco as anything other than a curious fad being revisited. Of course, most of the heroes, including the Titans—who hadn’t answered her calls, were busy fighting real threats.

“Debbie Disco Queen? She’s that freak I fought last year who just disappeared.” Supergirl said.

“And we’ve faced her many times together.” Duela said, putting her hands on her hips. Supergirl seemed a little off. “Remember when we infiltrated her disco a couple years back? And she nearly killed you with Gold K?”

“Gold K?” Supergirl whispered to herself. “Oh. Gold K.” Supergirl nodded.

“Are you OK Supie?” Duela asked, wrinkling her nose. “You seem a little out of it.”

“It’s just this dreadful 80’s costume.”

“Well, it’s not really my personal taste.” Duela replied, “But it is 1986 and you are at the height of teen fashion.”

“1986?”

“Yes. 1986.” Duela sighed, shaking her head. “The year after 1985.”

“Have I been thrown back into the past again?” Supergirl wondered. Although, that didn’t necessarily explain why her costume was different.

“The past? It’s the present Supie.” Duela said.

“No. 1986 is definitely the past.”

“Oh yeah, what year are you from?” Duela asked.

“Uh… Now?” Supergirl muttered, suddenly unable to remember exactly what year she was from. How odd. When she thought about it, the year always seemed a little blurry.

An idea occurred to Duela, as she remembered the wave that had struck her in her hospital room back “Then” and sent her here.

“Supergirl? Are you Kara Zor-El of Krypton? Or the Supergirl bonded with an Earth-Angel.”

“Uh, a little of both actually. I was adopted by Zor-El and Allura, but I’m bonded with the Earth-Angel.” Supergirl said.

“Oh, you’re the Post-Crisis Supergirl.” Duela nodded thoughtfully. “And you’re here with me in what the world would have been like if not for the Crisis.”

“What?”

“It’s complicated. I’d suggest you not think about it too much. And just go with the flow. Trust me. Life is a lot more fun that way. And, it will lead to less confusion.” Duela said, “Besides, who cares exactly why you’re here? Isn’t it more about the fact that you are here?”

“Uh, I guess. I’m just not sure because I ended up here because that Ultragirl person was beating on a mountain with some weird silver gauntlet with a purple gem on it and it send a wave out and here I am.”

“Ultragirl?” Duela frowned, her realities of the world she was in lifted just enough for her to contemplate the realities of the world she’d come from. “Was the gem an amethyst?”

“It might have been. It was purple. That’s all I know.” Supergirl paused… she heard a car screech to a stop several streets away followed by gunshots and screams.

“Sounds like Ultragirl might have the Gauntlet of Amethyst.” Duela replied thoughtfully, “It’s a very powerful artifact from the Gemworld.

“Did you hear that?” Supergirl asked.

“What?” Duela asked.

“Tires screeching to a stop? Gunshots? Screams?”

“No. It’s probably just you’re super-hearing. You’re probably tuned into something down the river in Gotham City.” Duela replied.

“I don’t have super-hearing.” Supergirl replied.

“You don’t in our regular continuity, but here…” Duela shrugged, “You probably do. Remember here you are the Pre-Crisis Supergirl. Easily discerned based on your circa 1984 costume there. Instituted for the Supergirl Movie, but never used cause it was too complicated and the headband looked dumb in real life.”

“What are you talking about?” Supergirl asked.

“Nothing.” Duela grinned widely. “Just a little in-joke for me and the fans.”

“Are you always this weird?”

“Usually.” Duela replied. “Surely you remember me now that we’re here in the Post-Crisis Pre-Crisis World.”

“I don’t remeber. And, don’t call me Shirley.” Supergirl grumbled.

Duela laughed wickedly, “Oh good. You’re in on the bad jokes too. Now enough of this chit-chat. Let’s go find Debbie Disco Queen and kick some butt.”

“Shouldn’t we try to find Ultragirl? If she and her Gauntlet of Amethyst are the cause of this, then maybe we could get that and fix all of this.” Supergirl said, her hand going to her hair, feeling it’s coarse overly teased permed wretchedness.

“Not really.” Duela shrugged. “I’m sure you and I are the only ones who are aware that there has been any sort of reality change around us. In typical hackneyed comic book plot fashion that will dictate that Ultragirl find us and try to destroy us so she can make her new reality permanent. While we’re waiting, we oughta at least go out and have a little fun. Enjoy ourselves one last time.”

“How do you know this?” Supergirl asked.

“I snuck a peak at the writer’s outline. Trust me. It all works out in the end. Sort of.” Duela said.

“When you snuck a peak, did you find out where Ultragirl attacks us?”

“No. That wasn’t in the outline. It was more like a list of stuff like: Supergirl and Duela meet over Hudson U. Confronting Debbie Disco Queen. Reality Shift! Silver Age Wackiness!? Returned from the Dead. Ultragirl attacks! Wrap-up. Really poorly designed as far as outlines go. Lots of exclamation points. Like a Shania Twain song title.” Duela replied, “However, according to the outline we confront Debbie Disco Queen first. Then reality shifts. Then there is some Silver Age wackiness. Then Ultragirl attacks. So you do the math.”

“This is so crazy.” Supergirl whispered. She looked toward the direction of New Jersey. “Oh… that’s weird. I have telescope vision or something. I can see the disco.”

“They called it super-vision. It covers your heat vision and your x-ray vision. Maybe you’ll get a chance to use your super-breath or super-ventriloquism powers. Those were always so lame. But, oh so fun.” Duela said.

“Do you need help getting there? I could carry you.” Supergirl offered.

“No thanks. I have my own ways.” Duela grinned, pulling a pair of roller skates from her hip-bag. Strapping them on, she began to float several feet over the roof top she stood on. “Anti-grav roller skates.”

“I see.” Supergirl blinked. “This is getting stranger and stranger.”

“Just wait until I get to use my super-powder puff. It’s a doozy!”

Supergirl and Duela headed into the distance, making their way toward Farmington, New Jersey and the Gabriel’s Horn nightclub/disco.

As they neared Gabriel’s Horn, Supergirl noticed several oddities. There were people randomly dancing in the street.

“It’s look like Saturday Night Fever down there.” Supergirl wrinkled her nose, noting all the polyester leisure suits and platform heels as people danced in lines. The air was filled with the sound of disco.

As her anti-grav roller skates hummed, Duela’s mind felt remarkably clear and crisp. The hazy craziness of a few minutes ago had faded and cleared up.

“Yeah, it tends to follow Dee Dee around.” Duela replied. Her eyes focused on Gabriel’s Horn in the distance. From it’s windows, she could see flashing light.

“Is her power really creating disco light shows?” Supergirl asked, remembering her bizarre encounter with the woman.

“Don’t forget the super-dancing.” Duela replied. “She was a normal girl until the accident.”

“The accident?” Supergirl asked, almost afraid to ask.

“She was at a disco, dancing the night away when a magic spider bit her. As the magic venom worked it’s way through her system, she was given powers of super-dancing and the ability to create her own disco-light show.” Duela said.

“A magic spider? Really? That’s pretty odd.”

“Yeah, it’ a lot more odd than being a laboratory creation of a good Lex Luthor from a Pocket Universe binding with an Earth-Angel and then being hurling back through time to be adopted by Superman’s Krytonian aunt and uncle.”

“Or being the adopted daughter of Two Face who just happens to have super extra gymnastic abilities and an improbably sized side-pack that somehow fits all that crap that doesn’t really make sense from a real physics and science.” Supergirl replied.

“That’s a lot more probably than coming from a city that was covered by a glass dome that was so good that when the planet exploded beneath it the entire city was hurled off into space where it floated for years and years and years.” Duela quipped.

“OK. I get your point.” Supergirl grumbled. “How do I even remember that?”

“Previous continuity is laying it’s self over your current memories. It’s probably cool right now. But, just wait until you have several of them laying on top of each other. It’s a doozy.”

“Will you stop saying that?”

“What?”

“It’s a doozy! What the Hell does that mean?”

“According to my dictionary doozy means something extraordinary or bizarre.” Duela replied.

As they neared the disco, the double front doors burst open with a dancing blazing festival of glowing spinning disco lights.

“Great Rao!” Supergirl exclaimed.

Standing in the center of the doorway, her blonde feathered hair dancing in the multi-colored lights reflected from her silver pant’s suit was Debbie Disco Queen.

“It’s about to get tacky up in here.” Duela said.

“Totally. Fer sure.” Supergirl replied. “What did I just say?”

“Valley Girl speak. Remember it’s the 80’s.”

“I’m trying to forget. Technically I wasn’t born until the late 80’s.”

“Uh. Riiiiight.” Duela laughed, “Girlfriend, you’re totally old. You were born in 1959. But, you look awesome for your age.”

Debbie Disco Queen cackled madly, fingering the gold medallion suspended from a chain around her neck.

“I have my Gold K medallion Supergirl! Let’s see how you fare against it!” Debbie Disco Queen laughed maniacally.

“That’s the stuff that can steal my powers?” Supergirl asked Duela. While she would prefer not to think such a thing was possible, she tended to believe that Duela’s assessment of the situation was correct. She had tried to access her angel powers and her TK blasts, but they were no where to be found and suddenly she had all of these very Superman-like powers—super-breath, super-vision, super-ventriloquism. Or at least Pre-Crisis Superman-like powers. Pre-Crisis? I’m starting to sound like Duela. Supergirl thought, feeling rather stressed by the thought. What Supergirl remembered of Duela Dent from the file she’d read for the very short time she’d been a Titan had said that Duela was an ally of the Titans. Never a full fledged member—and suffering from delusions and several mental illnesses. Yet, everything the woman said made sense in the context of the world she’d found herself in after Ultragirl’s punches.

“It is.” Duela said, “And in this world, you’re subject to it’s properties. I can’t guarantee that if she robs you of your powers you would get them back when we fix the world around us.”

“Awesome! Totally like fer sure.” Supergirl mumbled sarcastically. “So, Duela… what exactly is the crime that Debbie Disco Queen is responsible for here? I mean, super-dancing? The people in this neighborhood look happy. Sure they’re disco dancing like it’s 1978, but they’re smiling and they’re getting exercise. Surely that’s not a bad thing.”

“Don’t call me Shirley!” Duela shouted.

Supergirl groaned. “Duela, is she breaking any real laws? Committing any crimes? Is she dealing drugs? Is she extorting people? Other than making people like disco, what’s she doing wrong.”

“If that’s not a crime, it should be.” Duela quipped.

“Uh… it doesn’t work that way Duela. And, I’m not going to risk losing my powers just to keep disco unpopular.”

“But it’s not really popular. She’s making it popular. Don’t you see? She’s subjugating their free will. That’s a crime.”

“I suppose so.” Supergirl sighed. She kept hoping that she would wake up and find that this was just a bad dream.

“Don’t be like that.” Duela said, wagging a finger at Supergirl. “We have to be better heroes. And to do that we’re going to save those people down there from enslavement to a throbbing disco beat.”

“What do you mean we have to be better heroes?” Supergirl asked.

“Heroes are all dark and angry now. And, if we learn anything from our little team-up and cross-over with alternate realities and a villain from a world erased from reality it’s that we should be better heroes and not kill Max Lord if he takes mental control of Superman and uses him as weapon.”

“What are you talking about? Max Lord is a good guy. A bit of a used car salesman, but a good guy nonetheless.”

“He was. Until some writer decided that he belonged to an era far too silly for more sophisticated tastes and decided to make him easy to give some retcon context to Max Lord.” Duela said.

“Retcon?”

“Retroactive Continuity. All the rage for explaining away characters or trying to make sense of crap other writers have done before you that ruins characters and their history and their viability. Sometimes it gets way out of control though. Just ask Donna Troy.”

“I’ll do that.” Supergirl said. A weird watery feeling suddenly filled her head.

“Oh….” Supergirl groaned. Suddenly the throbbing disco beat below her called to her, asking her to come down from the sky and dance, dance, dance!

“Come on down Supergirl!” Debbie Disco Queen called. “You should be disco dancing with the rest of us.”

“Oh, no!” Duela gasped. “You have a weakness to magic! You’re falling under DeeDee’s spell!”

“Oh brother.” Supergirl groaned as she suddenly felt the music in every part of her being. “I… feel like dancing.”

Supergirl flew down, landing among the throngs of dancers, she quickly joined in their dance. Somehow she knew the dance was called the Hustle.

“You’re next Harlequin!” Debbie Disco Queen shouted, laughing maniacally.

“I’m the Mime now.” Duela said, reaching into her side-pack and removing giant ear muffs. Sliding them over her head, they safely blocked her ears from the disco beat pounding on the ground below.

“Then why are you talking?” DeeDee asked.

“Because. Sometimes Mimes talk!”

“They don’t! Mimes most definitely don’t talk!” DeeDee screamed, shaking her fists. “You are so annoying! First you were the Joker’s Daughter, then Harlequin, and now the Mime? Can’t you just find a name that doesn’t suck and stick to it?”

“At least I’m changing with the times.” Duela replied. “You’re hopelessly stuck in the late 70’s in lame dico wear. You’d think you were an X-Man or something.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Duela said, then under her breath, masked by a cough---“Dazzler rip-off.”

“WHAT?!” Debbie Disco Queen screamed, “I’M NOT A DAZZLER RIP-OFF!! I’M A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER!!!” Blazing pebbles of light began dancing around Debbie Disco Queen and reaching up toward Duela. “YOUR EAR MUFFS CAN’T PROTECT YOU FROM MY DISCO LIGHT POWERS!!”

Duela opened her side-pack and removed a pair of ridiculously large sunglasses, putting them on over her eyes.

“My giant sunglasses will.” Duela said, she lowered herself to the ground. Duela removed a small crossbow from her side-pack and pointed it several feet over Debbie Disco Queen’s head.

People disco line danced more crazily and with an increased fevor.

“I think these people are going to dance themselves to death.” Duela whispered, adjusting her aim by a few scant inches.

“I knew you were crazy,” Debbie Disco Queen laughed. “But, your aim leaves something to be desired.”

“You know. I can barely hear you with these ear muffs on.” Duela purred, “But, lemme tell ya babe, the sky is falling.”

Debbie Disco Queen looked up, just as Duela snapped the trigger on the crossbow. A small oddly shaped arrow exploded from the crossbow. Once it was above Debbie Disco Queen’s head it made a loud popping sound—and from the puff of glittery smoke an anvil appeared.

“Oh fudge.” Debbie Disco Queen whispered.

It happened so fast, that she had no chance to move.

The anvil landed on her head, knocking her out.

The people all around stopped dancing. Their eyes blinked and fluttered as they came out of the disco dancing trance that Debbie Disco Queen had them under.

“Are you OK Supie?” Duela asked, rushing over to Supergirl.

Standing there, looking dazed, Supergirl rubbed her eyes.

“Oh no. I was in a disco dancing trance… I thought that I was dreaming.” Supergirl whispered. “But I see this awful costume and realize that it is in fact real.”

“You are wearing hot pants and a blue blouse. That is far more dated than your Pat Benatar headband.” Duela commented.

“My hot pants and blouse are a vintage look.” Supergirl groaned. “I’m so—“ Before Supergirl could finish the pounding sound from earlier sounded again. Waves of colored light began rippling toward them.

Supergirl grabbed Duela pulling her up and out of the path of the colored waves of light. Below them reality changed.

“That’s odd.” Duela said. “You lifted us up and over.”

“Even more odd is the fact that everything below us is completely changing.” Supergirl replied.

“If only I could really do that to New Jersey.” Duela sighed wistfully as Farmington, New Jersey and Gabriel’s Horn faded away. It was like a TV screen getting all distorted and snowy;then the picture came into view and below them was small town America. “You know the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?”

Supergirl shook her head, unable to believe that this was happening to her. “I know I’m going to regret this.” Then with a sigh, “No, I don’t Duela. What is the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey.”

“Sometimes garbage gets taken out!”

Beneath them New Jersey had been replaced by a quaint small town surrounded by rolling fields and farmlands.

“Uh oh.” Supergirl said, “Looks like Smallville.”

“Smallville? Home of Superboy?”

“Superboy? He’s never even lived in Smallville… He… Oh.” Supergirl stopped as memories flooded her mind. “Kal was Superboy before he was Superman? That doesn’t make any sense. He didn’t become Superman until after college when he moved to Metropolis. That… oh… ” Supergirl felt dizzy.

“Welcome to the Silver Age.” Duela said. “Just take a deep breath and relax. It makes it easier to deal with the continuity changes in flux around you. If you don’t relax or try to resist, your mind will break and you’ll end up a total fruit loop.”

“Is that what happened to you?” Supergirl mumbled, holding her head in her hands. She became convinced, no matter how irrational the thought, that her head would explode with the flood of memories crashing around in her head if she didn’t hold it.

“No such luck.” Duela replied quietly, looking thoughtfully at the town unfolding and developing like a photograph below them. “The Time Trapper is what happened to me. A chronal virus. The rapid aging back and forth plays havoc with the brain activities.”

“The Time Trapper.” Supergirl remembered when Duela had appeared to her in a dream a few weeks back.* “He’s a doozy.”

*In the forthcoming Supergirl: The Maid of Steel Annual #3.

“That he is.” Duela replied.

Supergirl watched as her costume changed from an 80’s nightmare and became her original costume, the one with the little blue skirt. Her hair was also shorter and way 50’s. She remembered her original origin, as though it had really happened. Then she reminded herself that in some reality, before reality had changed it did.

Duela’s costume became a lavender colored suit much like the Joker’s costume.

“We’re in our original costume. And, somewhere down there is Superboy.”

“Somewhere.” Supergirl said quietly. The sound of pounding was much closer. “It sounds like Ultragirl is nearby.”

“I still have my hover skates.” Duela grinned. “You wanna go check it out?”

“Yep.” Supergirl said.

The two women flew toward the direction the pounding was coming from, crossing over a small building.

From below there was a loud crashing sound and the sound of someone calling for help.

“Shall we check it out?” Duela asked.

Supergirl halted mid-air, hovering in place above the building. She looked in the direction that the pounding was coming from. She wanted to get home to their reality. She didn’t like this costume, or the one before. She didn’t like that she had weaknesses to something called Gold Kryptonite that could steal her powers. And, she found being side-by-side with Duela Dent left her uneasy.

“I don’t know.” Supergirl said tentatively. “I’d rather find Ultragirl and get home.”

“Aw, Supie… we have all the time in the world to do that.” Duela replied quietly.

“What if her next punch wipes us out of existence?” Supergirl asked. “Why are we even aware of what’s going on here?”

“It won’t.” Duela replied.

“How can you be sure?” Supergirl asked.

“Because I’m immune to these things. Among the curses the Time Trapper dumped on me is one that makes me immune to shifts in reality. I’m aware of the changes around me and am unaffected—mostly. People just discount me as a kook and don’t believe me. Kind of like Cassandra of Troy. My past and origins may change, but in here—“ Duela tapped her forehead. “I’m still the same. Still aware.”

“What about me?” Supergirl asked.

“You were there at Ground Zero when Ultragirl’s first retcon punch changed reality.” Duela replied, “And you carry a protection from the Time Trapper.”

“What?”

Duela didn’t say anything for several seconds as she tried to decide if she should say anything. Finally she said, “You have been engineered by the Time Trapper. When the agents of Lord Xenon kept Supergirl from being reborn in the new Universe that resulted after the Crisis on Infinite Earths, it was the Time Trapper who stepped in and made sure there was a Supergirl. He’s the one who put you in the right place at the right time for Matrix and Linda Danvers to merge and become the first Earth Angel. He’s the one who knew that your genetic make-up would be unique enough to be rewired and birth an all-new Earth Angel within. So even when Wally took back the Angel of Fire essence, you would still have Angel status. He’s the one who sent you back through time to be adopted by Zor-El and Allura; the fight in World War II with the JSA. He’s the one who wants to send you to the 31st Century to join the Legion of Super-Heroes. You don’t think that he has some extra insurance to protect you from reality changes and shifts?”

“How much of my life is my own?” Supergirl asked, an odd mixture of sorrow and anger rising up inside.

“The day to day part is your own.” Duela replied, “But the grand scheme of things… the Big Picture… your story arc… all the Time Trapper’s machinations. At least until Lord Xenon. After your big battle with him… well, you’re your own person.”

“If I survive.” Supergirl replied. “I could die again. Couldn’t I?”

“It’s totally possible.” Duela replied.

Below them there were more explosions and several more cries for help.

“What if we can’t change things back?” Supergirl asked.

“We can. Easy. The Gauntlet of Amethyst can reshape reality to the wearer’s whims. Ultragirl doesn’t know what she wants, so she’s going to keep pounding until she figures it out.” Then Duela added, “This is a bad time for all this exposition. Shall we save whoever is down there?”

“Since we’re immune to these reality changes.” Supergirl shrugged. “Why not?”

Before they could swoop down, a wall exploded from the left side of the building. A red and blue blur streaked out.

“Superboy?” Supergirl whispered.

“It looks like he’s in a hurry.” Duela replied.

They swooped down to the hole in the building; laying on the floor was an elderly man in a white lab coat. An odd projector laid on the floor.

“What’s going on here?” Supergirl asked, feeling confused. Had Superboy hit this guy? Where they in an evil world? If Ultragirl was from Earth 3 (where the Crime Syndicate ruled, her memory whispered) then maybe this was some sort of Earth 3 alternate reality with evil people.

“I don’t think that was Superboy.” Duela said, looking through the hole in the wall as the red and blue blur disappeared against the horizon.

“Are you OK?” Supergirl asked, helping the old man to his feet.

“More or less.” The man said. “I am a little sore, but I’ll be fine.”

“What happened?” Supergirl asked.

“I was working on my rejuvenation machine.” The man sputtered, “As a man of science, I have vowed to use my scientific know-how to improve the world around me.”

“Uh… not to be impatient much or anything and interrupt your personal mission statement, but why is Superboy hurtling toward us? And why is he all white and chalky?” Supergirl asked. Her super-vision picking up details of the Superboy hurtling toward them.

“Because that’s not Superboy. It’s a rejuvenated Bizzaro Superboy.” The scientist said. “My previous invention was a Duplicator Ray which created an imperfect copy of Superboy by accident. When Bizzaro Superboy was destroyed, I collected the dust and ash. I accidentally knocked into my Rejuvenator and instead of hitting that dead plant over there, it hit the urn I kept Bizzaro Superboy’s ashes in. And it brought him back from the dead.”

“He doesn’t look all that happy about that.” Duela remarked. “He’s coming on fast. Supie… a Superboy clone is more of your forte. I’m not super-strength girl. And, I doubt my huge powder puff filled with sneezing powder is going to be that effective against a Superboy clone.”

“He’s not a Superboy clone.” The scientist interjected. “He’s an imperfect copy.”

“Let’s not split hairs. Just keep him away from Wonder Girl. Otherwise we are going to be subjected to years and years of histrionic melodrama like it’s the Young and the Restless.” Duela said. She opened her mouth to say something else, but it was cut off as the impact of Bizarro Superboy crashing into Supergirl knocked Duela off of her feet—slamming her into a wall.

Supergirl realized several things when Bizarro Superboy slammed into her. The first was that Bizzaro Superboy had Superman level strength and that he was going to be a tough customer. The second was that he kind of smelled like chalk dust and mildew. The third thing was that even though she was having a really weird day and wanted to go home—she was stronger here than she was in her reality.

Supergirl slammed her fist into Bizarro Superboy, sending him spinning out of control—crashing through the eastern wall of the small laboratory building.

The scientist pulled himself to his feet even as Duela pulled herself up.

“He hit me like a Mac Truck.” Supergirl said, looking at the white dusty powder on her hands and smeared across her costume. She dusted it from her hands and her costume. “And he’s shedding…”

“It’s skin particles.” The scientist said. “He’s highly unstable. He shouldn’t last long. It’s why he fell apart last time. If you pound him a few more times, then he should just crumble into dust again. If you have any blind friends, then you might want to do it in front of them. Bizarro Superboy skin dust can cure blindness.”

“What?” Supergirl shook her head. This was getting weirder and weirder by the moment.

“We’re in a Silver Age reality.” Duela Dent said. “The science is completely wacky and makes no sense. Just roll with it. Enjoy it.”

“I don’t know why I’m even surprised. This is a world where an entire city covered by a glass dome can be hurled off the planet during it being destroyed while the rest of the planet is gone and survive. Floating in space. For years. And years.” Supergirl shook her head.

“Well, you know—“ Duela opened her mouth to reply, however, before she complete, Bizarro Superboy crashed through another wall.

The impact of him crashing through the wall and slamming into Supergirl created a sonic boom that knocked Duela and the scientist off their feet and to the floor.

“You didn’t learn last time?” Supergirl asked, knocking Bizarro Superboy off of her. “I’m just as strong as you are.”

“Me am weaker than you.” Bizarro Superboy said, shaking his fist as her.

“That’s what I said.”

“Me will never pound you to death!”

“Right. Because I’ll mop the floor with you before even get close to me.” Supergirl said.

“Me will not destroy you!”

“That’s right you won’t.” Supergirl said.

“Me love you!” Bizarro Superboy rushed her.

The fight, if it could be called that, was short. Again Supergirl knocked Bizarro Superboy away, sending him spinning and crashing through the only undestroyed wall.

“That was three punches.” Supergirl said, “How many more do you think it will take?”

“Three. Maybe four.” The scientist said.

“Great. I should go after him I suppose.” Supergirl leapt through one of the holes in the building, flying in the direction Bizarro Superboy had flung off in.

She was only a few feet out of the building when Bizarro Superboy flew up, punching Supergirl—knocking her through the wall. The impact of Supergirl slamming through the wall and creating a new hole, knocked both Duela and the scientist back to the floor.

“OH CRIKES!” Duela screamed, pounding the floor with her fist. “For crying out loud! I’m just staying down here! Let me know when you’re done fighting!”

Bizarro Superboy followed Supergirl in, landing just as Supergirl pulled herself free from the crushed debris she’d created when she’d slammed into several cabinets that the scientist had lining the wall. They had broken her fall, and probably prevented her from crashing through the wall again.

“Me hope you no hurt.” Bizarro Superboy said, his eyes blazed with anger and hate. “Me hope you no bleed.”

“Bizarro Superboy always says the opposite of what he really means.” The scientist said, pulling himself to his feet again.

“Thanks! I got that.” Supergirl said.

She attacked Bizarro Superboy—pummeling him with all of her strength. Giant clouds of white dusty powder blossomed around them like mushroom clouds. Bizarro Superboy dug his fingers into her face—causing her to cry out in pain. The pain caught her off-guard—as it was something she rarely experienced. Bizarro Superboy spun her around, digging deeper with his fingers. It felt like he was going to break through the skin. He let go, sending her slamming into more equipment. As she crashed to a stop, her foot kicked something.

She heard a click as her foot hit a switch on a projector. A ray of oddly colored light burst from the lens, washing over Supergirl.

“Ooohh…” She groaned. The ray playing over her made her feel drunk and light-headed.

Bizarro Superboy approached Supergirl, pausing as beside her a humanoid shape began to form.

“Is hideously ugly!” Bizarro Superboy gasped, as the humanoid form became a chalky rough skinned Bizarro Supergirl.

“Me Bizarro Supergirl.” She said, pulling herself to her feet. “Who you?”

“Me Bizarro Superboy. Always want cousin.” Bizarro Superboy threw his arms around Bizarro Supergirl. Bizarro Supergirl hugged him back.

From where she slumped on the floor, the ray having stopped, Supergirl looked at Bizarro Superboy and Bizarro Supergirl.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Supergirl groaned.

Duela came up beside her, helping Supergirl to her feet as the Bizarros got to know each other.

Supergirl was covered in dust. It looked like someone had smacked her around with a leaking bag of flour.

“You are a mess.” Duela said pleasantly.

“Thanks.” Supergirl said. “Suddenly they aren’t all that violent.”

In the distance the pounding sounded louder.

“We should head toward our friend Ultragirl.” Supergirl said. “I think I’ve had enough of the Bizarros.”

“We could go.” Duela replied, “Although I don’t know if it’s cool to leave the Bizarros intact. There won’t be a Bizarro World for another twenty years or so when Lex Luthor creates an adult Bizarro Superman.”

“We shouldn’t have stopped. When we reach Ultragirl and stop her and put everything back the way it was, the Bizarros will go away. We’re just wasting time here.”

“OK. If you think so. However, I think—“

Before Duela finished her sentence the entire house exploded around them, collapsing on them.

“Are you OK?” Supergirl asked, lifting the roof off of them.

“#$%@@!!!!” Duela screamed.

“Is that a no?” Supergirl said, tossing the roof aside.

The Bizarros looked confused.

The scientist groaned, pushing debris off of him.

“What happen?” Bizzaro Supergirl asked.

“I happened.”

Everyone looked up.

Hovering in the sky above them was Ultragirl. The sunshine streaming down caused the amethyst and the silver alloy of the Gauntlet on Ultragirl’s right hand glitter brightly. Her skin tight blue uniform looked like it was about to tear apart.

“That’s not very nice. Dropping a house on someone like that.” Duela said. “You’d think we had shoes on you wanted to steal.” Duela looked down at her purple boots peeking out from under her purple Joker pants. “Although I can’t imagine anyone would want to steal these.”

“The two of you shouldn’t be here.” Ultragirl said. Her red cape danced in the wind along with her silver-blonde hair. “My punches are ineffective. No matter what changes I bring, they aren’t working because you two are here.”

“What changes are you trying to bring?” Supergirl asked.

“I want my world back. The pre-Crisis Earth 3.” Ultragirl moaned. “I don’t want my Anti-Matter Earth origins. I want to be the cousin of the Earth 3 Ultraman.”

“What’s the difference? Either way you’re a loser.” Duela asked.

“When I was from Earth 3, I was Ultraman’s first cousin—daughter of his uncle Zachary. I stole a piece of the meteorite that gave him his powers and gained ultra powers myself. I became Ultragirl and wrecked havoc on Midvale. However, on the Anti-Matter Earth, I’m a clone of an adult film actress that bonded with a protoplasmic blob from Ultraman’s Fortress of Solitude and an Earth-Bound Demon of Ice. What kind of lame origin is that? I mean, I used to be Ultraman’s cousin. Now I’m some blob of pink goop with convoluted nonsensical origins. I don’t even take pleasure from killing and maiming! What kind of life is this?”

“Deal with it.” Supergirl said, “At least you aren’t a Ultraman clone. You have your own unique identity and separate background and origins. Why do you have to be just like Ultraman to be happy?”

“I just do!!” Ultragirl screamed.

“She is from Earth 3 originally.” Duela shrugged, “They never got the whole women’s lib thing.”

“Each time I punch, it’s supposed to bring Earth 3 back. My world. But, instead, it just makes this earth more like Earth 1.” Ultragirl pouted. “No sign of my earth. Or any of the other multiple earths.”

“You can’t create a multiverse with a pretty glove and punches.” Duela replied.

“But Monarch told me this glove would do it!” Ultragirl said, her voice desperate with pain and hatred. “He said it would bring back my world!”

“Monarch gave her that?” Supergirl asked, turning toward Duela. “I thought I destroyed him for the Time Trapper.”

“You just destroyed one of Monarch’s identities. Each time he’s destroyed, he is born again in a different reality. He and the Time Trapper are eternal enemies—destined to fight one another for possession of control of all time.” Duela said. “I doubt Monarch’s motives are that Ultragirl would bring back Earth 3 and the pre-Crisis Multiverse. There’s no way to bring that multiverse back. The most she could do is—“ Duela stopped, her eyes growing wide with surprise.

“What?”

“She could potentially create a new multiverse.” Duela said.

“And?”

“If she creates a new multiverse, then Hypertime and the Pocket Universe would be splintered, ripped apart and collapse. Lord Xenon would be free.” Duela’s face went even paler beneath the white face paint.

“But, I’m not strong enough yet to defeat Lord Xenon.” Supergirl said grimly, “He’d kill me for sure.”

“Exactly.” Duela said. “But, you would severely weaken Lord Xenon. Enough for the Time Trapper and his council to destroy Lord Xenon once and for all—and save reality. But, not without the cost of most of the Time Trapper’s powers and strength.”

“Making it easy for Monarch to swoop in and destroy him and take control of time.” Supergirl said, “Awesome. Not only are we getting to have fun with alternate realities but we have to save the universe.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time.” Duela said.

“Ok. Can we just kick her ass? Take the Gauntlet and then go home?” Supergirl asked.

“Hello!” Ultragirl said, “I’m still here! I can hear everything you two bimbos are saying! I’m the super-villain! You should be stopping me!”

“Will you excuse me for a minute?” Supergirl asked.

“Sure.” Duela said.

Supergirl leapt up into the sky, her fists clenched.

“Look. I don’t really want to pound you in the face. I just want to go home. I realize you have some idea that you’re going to bring back your world and then you’re going to be happy. It’s not going to work. You’ll never be happy. Accept what you have now and make the most of that.” Supergirl said. “Retcon punches are the dumbest idea ever. Really.”

“SHUT UP!” Ultragirl screamed, slamming her fist into Supergirl.

The moment the Gauntlet of Amethyst slammed into her stomach, Supergirl’s mind flickered with a thousand images of a thousand different realities. They shuffled through rapidly, within seconds. The sensory overload was so much that she spiraled out of control, landing with a thump on the ground.

The rippling colored wave of energy that had exploded at the moment the Guantlet had hit her, sparkling in the air, falling down like stardust around Supergirl.

Duela Dent rushed over to her, stooping down and cradling her head.

“Supie? Are you OK?”

Supergirl did not respond, her eyelids batted quickly as images shuffled through her head. She tried to absorb and deal, but it was just too much to try and process at once.

“What did you do to her?” Duela Dent asked.

“Retcon gut punch.” Ultragirl purred. “It might kill her. Her puny little brain might not be able to recover. And then she’ll be dead and out of my way. That just leaves you. And then once you’re dead my punches will actually change everything to the way I want it to.”

“If you punch your reality back into existence then you’ll realize Lord Xenon.”

“Never heard of him.” Ultragirl replied.

“He used to be the Anti-Monitor you cow.” Duela spat, “The only person who can stop him is Supergirl. So, if you kill her, and then release him, your newly restored reality will be newly destroyed again. And, without Supergirl to stop him, he’ll destroy everything this time.”

“I don’t believe you.” Ultragirl said.

Duela watched in horror as Ultragirl hurtled toward her. It would only take seconds for the woman to kill her—smashing through her and breaking her body in half. Duela didn’t have super-speed or invulnerability. She was an Olympic level acrobat and well-trained martial artist and had a really lousy sense of humor. Those were no defense against Ultragirl—the Anti-Supergirl.

“GOOD GIRL!” Bizarro Supergirl screamed, flinging herself between Duela and Ultragirl.

Ultragirl’s fists slammed into Bizarro Supergirl—sending a puff of white powder up. A bright flash of colored light sparked and Bizarro Supergirl disappeared.

“YOU LET BIZARRO SUPERGIRL LIVE!” Bizarro Superboy screamed. “YOU GET AWAY SCOTT FREE FOR THAT!”

“What are you talking about freak?” Ultragirl asked.

“That’s Bizarro Superboy.” Duela Dent said. “He always says the opposite of what he means.”

“What?” Ultragirl asked. She gasped as Bizarro Superboy launched himself toward her.

Duela moved quickly, putting both hands on the Gauntlet of Amethyst. As Bizarro Superboy slammed into Ultragirl, dragging her away, the Gauntlet tugged free—remaining in Duela’s hands as Bizarro Superboy and Ultragirl disappeared against the horizon.

“What was that?” Supergirl asked, sitting up. She felt dizzy and sick to her stomach, but a dozen lives had stopped flashing before her eyes.

“The Bizarros saved us.” Duela said. “Bizarro Supergirl disappeared after getting hammered by the Gauntlet. And, Bizarro Superboy is fighting Ultragirl right now. And, look—“ Duela held up the Gauntlet of Amethyst. “I got this!”

“I feel weird.” Supergirl said. The color lights still flickered across her, dancing in her eyes. “Like my insides have been all scrambled up.”

“You look weird. Like a rainbow.” Duela replied, slipping the Gauntlet of Amethyst on.

“You have the Gauntlet.” Supergirl said, “Can we go home now?”

“Just a second.” Duela said. She stood up and took a deep breath. In her mind’s eye, Duela imagined exactly what she wanted and what needed to happen. Then with all of her might, she slammed the Gauntlet of Amethyst into the ground. A massive shock wave exploded from the point of impact, tearing out and radiating across the landscape.

“What happening?” Bizarro Superboy asked, flying up. He was missing an arm and his uniform was ragged. He was also bleeding white powdery smoke.

“I just fixed something.” Duela said quietly.

Once the flashing colored waves receded, they were standing outside of Gabriel’s Horn nightclub and the air smelled particularly clean and fresh.

“What did you do?” Supergirl asked, standing up.

“Well…” Duela hesitated, “I did a couple of things. I punched everything back the way it was before we were retcon punched into those alternate realities… as you should be able to tell by your uniform.”

Supergirl looked down to find herself in her red hot pants and blue blouse once more. The weird rippling colored thing was gone too.

“But, this—“ Supergirl motioned to the world around them, “This world doesn’t look right.”

“Well, it does. But, this isn’t your world.” Duela said.

“What did you do Duela?”

“I undid everything that Ultragirl did…” Duela hesitated, then she cleared her throat. “But, I also created a new Pocket Universe. One of my very own. And, before you get all judgmental on me—hear me out. This world is hidden. The Time Trapper can’t see me here. And, it’s what my life would have been like if not for the Crisis.”

“But, Duela… shouldn’t you just accept things the way they are? Isn’t that what we were just trying to convince Ultragirl to do?”

“Not exactly. She was trying to reshape reality into what she wanted it to be. I created a separate reality… one of my very own.” Duela said, “And, here I’m safe from the Time Trapper. His chronal disease can’t get me here. And, I’m free from the madness he infected me with. I’m safe. For the first time in forever, I’m safe.”

“Me no stay here forever with you.” Bizarro Superboy said to Duela Dent.

“You can stay. There is room here for all the Silver Age rejects. We could start a band.” Duela smiled.

“Me no like that.” Bizarro Superboy turned to Supergirl. “You no stay here. You go home.”

“I want to go back to the real world.” Supergirl said, “I don’t want to live in some make-believe Pocket Universe.”

Duela didn’t comment on the snide tone to Supergirl’s voice.

“No go home. We no get married.” Bizarro Superboy said.

“Surely you can’t be serious.” Supergirl said.

“Me am no joking. Me name am Shirley.” Bizzaro Superboy replied.

“Dear God.” Supergirl sighed, shaking her head. “Duela, will you just send me home?”

“The power to go home is at your very own feet.” Duela replied, the amethyst on the Gauntlet of Amethyst glittered brightly. “It has been for several minutes now.”

Supergirl looked down; her red boots were covered in sparkling red sequins and rhinestones.

“Let me guess. All I have to do is click my heels together three times and say, there is no place like home.” Supergirl said, shaking her head and covering her face.

“Well, that, and I need to give the ground a little punch with this to open the doorway between here and there.” Duela said. “We have to synchronize though.”

“Let’s get this over with. I’m ready to get the Hell out of this Bizarro world.” Supergirl said.

Supergirl clicked her heels one time, then the second. With the third click, Duela Dent punched the ground in unison. A controlled burst of colored light streaked toward Supergirl. She began to fade from sight.

As she slowly faded away, Supergirl looked at Duela, “Are you sure you’ll be safe here?”

“At least until the next big company-wide cross-over tears the world apart.” Duela said, turning toward the Third Wall and giving a wink.

Supergirl was gone, leaving Duela Dent and Bizarro Superboy standing side-by-side.

Supergirl appeared in the air above Mount Mooney, where this had all really started for her. As best as she could determine, only a few seconds had passed since she’d left Midway City.

“Did that all really just happen?” She wondered aloud. It felt like a dream.

Heading back to Midway City, Supergirl’s thoughts turned to Ultragirl. What had happened to her anyway? The last she’d seen of her was Bizarro Superboy dragging her off—disappearing against the horizon. He’d come back without her, missing some limbs and bleeding white dust, but alive. Well, as alive as a Bizarro could be.

With a heavy sigh, Supergirl headed back toward Midway City. In shock and surprise, she watched as her sigh tore big massive chunks of rocks from the mountains below.

“Great Rao! Super-breath?!” Supergirl’s eyes widened with surprise. With a glance toward Midway City, she realized she could see all the way to Midway City. And, just a slight cock of her head told her she had super-hearing.

“What happened?” She mused out loud. Then she remembered the retcon punch Ultragirl had delivered directly to her gut. “My powers! I have more powers!”

Quickly checking her TK blasts and her angel powers, she found them all still there.

“Retcon punches rock!” Supergirl gushed, flying back to Midway City at top speed.

Epilogue Part One:

Leesburg was still a scar against the landscape. A deep gnarled pit of black-blasted ground it wore the scars from Mongul’s attack on Earth nearly a year ago. It had been filled with rubble and debris, but that had been cleared out the past few weeks as the Federal Government prepared to begin rebuilding Leesburg. Very few of the survivors of Leesburg—those fortunate enough to be out of town when the town had been destroyed had agreed to return. But, the Feds had decided that the newly resurrected town-to-be would be the perfect place for Witness Relocation Program families. It would be a new start for all of them.

In the sky above Leesburg there was a short burst of colored light and two forms appeared, moving out of the warp and into open air.

“Me understand where we are perfectly.” Bizarro Supergirl said, looking around the scarred landscape. “This place ugly! Me hate!” Bizarro Supergirl’s heart filled with hate at the sight before her. “Me home!”

Beside her, “Shut up you buffoon!” Ultragirl hissed. A bruise darkened her left eye where Bizarro Superboy had clobbered her before the rippling colored lights had expelled her, sending her back to reality.

“Why are we here?” Ultragirl asked, looking around—her head whipping around and from side to side as she realized that they were in the remains of Leesburg of the Positive Matter Universe. “We were specifically drawn here.”

“Me know! Me know!” Bizarro Supergirl exclaimed.

Ultragirl turned on Bizarro Supergirl. Punching the white skinned Supergirl parody in the face, Bizarro Supergirl slammed into the ground, digging down into scarred landscape.

“Now… I have some silence to think.” Ultragirl said. Then it dawned on her. “The Chaos Stream!”

Epilogue Part 2

Dr. Xavier looked through the glass of the window in the door to Duela Dent’s door. A frown creased his lips.

It had been four days since they’d found her, collapsed in her room, unconscious and barely breathing. They’d hooked her up to life-support and spent the past few days trying to figure out what had happened.

She was in some sort of catatonic state. The exact nature of it was beyond their grasp; Dr. Xavier had called in a specialist. He hoped they’d be able to figure out exactly what was going on. In the time Duela Dent had been at their facility, Dr. Xavier had grown fond of the young woman. When she was lucid, she was funny, smart, and personable.

But, she looks so happy. Dr. Xavier thought. And, of course that much was true. A sweet pleased smile curled Duela’s supple lips—as though she were dreaming the most beautiful dream.

Perhaps, she wasn’t all that bad off after all.