AFTER THE CRUCIBLE # 8

Passage

By Barry Reese

PROLOGUE

I wish I were a Christian.

At least then I could feel like I know what's happened to you, where you are. I'm too much of a skeptic to really believe in the traditional vision of Heaven, but that's never really bothered me until now. Death was an abstract notion, despite the line of work I'm in. Death was never something that hit me directly in the face. Until now.

Now I can't stop wondering what happens next. Are you okay? A silly question to ask someone who's dead, huh? Of course you're not okay. You're dead.

But are you something safe. Do you know I loved you? God, I hope so. Even if it was a love that could never be, I loved you. The way you were so confident and self-assured, the funny way your lip curled when you smiled... everything.

And I'll never see you again. I won't say goodbye to you when I leave, I won't see you waiting for me when I arrive.

Sometimes I think I'm still in shock. Things are moving so quickly and time passes kind of odd. I keep expecting to see you again, to hear that everything's going to be okay. But I know it's not. I've cried so much... I thought I was all out of tears last night but I cried anyway. Not just little tears, but big sobs that wracked my whole body.

Nobody understands, of course. They think I'm just upset because I admired you so much...not even my spouse knows. They don't know how many times I wanted to tell you, regardless of the consequences. But it never seemed right and it was never fair -- not to any of the parties involved.

I miss you so damned much, Joe. I always will. I want to be near you just once more.

It hurts.

There's this pit in my chest that feels like it's growing. It's like a cold, pain-filled hole that swallows everything. The funeral was hell for me, I had to stay so reserved and calm. When I got home, the floodgates opened. My head and eyes hurt from all the crying I've done over you.

I hope it didn't hurt. I'm sure it did, but I can't stand the thought of you -- so scared and hurt, with death waiting for you.

I hope it doesn't just end when you die. What would be the point? Birth, life, death and that's all? I've never heard a religion I felt was right, but there must be some point to existence. Doesn't there? It seems like too much of a coincidence for all the small things to go exactly right in order for life to happen... there has to be something behind it all. There has to be. But what?

Maybe I won't know until the end comes for me, too. I hope I'll face it as bravely as you did.

Goodbye.

Washington, DC - Crusaders Complex

"Under no circumstances is he going to allowed on the team. None." Gary Gansler pushed his horn-rimmed glasses back up the slope of his nose, adjusting the papers which rested on the table before him. He was a small man, with thin arms and legs that gave him the overall appearance of being a human-sized chicken. His eyes were narrowed slightly, as if he spent the whole of his life pouring over figures. He was altogether an unlikeable sort and he was the first ever government liason assigned to the Crusaders.

The Fly muttered under his breath. In the week or so since Joe's death, he'd found himself in the unlikely role of team leader. I hope Michael takes this job -- I don't want it! "Look, Mr. Gansler -- the Comet has proven himself to us. I wasn't too keen on him joining up again, either, but the Shield vouched for him and he was essential to us beating Kalathar. We want him recognized and approved."

"That's simply not possible. In fact, he's still wanted for the deaths and destruction he caused in Evergreen. How do you think the American public will react to a mass murderer being sanctioned by the United States government?"

"I understand that but we can make people trust him again! I know we can... besides," the Fly leaned forward, encouraging Gansler to do the same. "What better way to keep tabs on him than giving him a short leash like this? A Crusader will always be with him in public, guaranteed."

"I have a better solution, Mr. Troy -- the best way to keep tabs on him is to incarcerate him and prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law!" Gansler stood and began putting away his papers. "There is no room for discussion on this, I'm afraid. The Crusaders are ordered to turn over the Comet within 24 hours."

"I think I might be able to offer an alternative to that, Mr. Gansler." The voice was so authoritative that for a moment the Fly expected to look up and see Joe Higgins standing in the doorway. Instead, he saw Michael Barnes -- the man who wore the costume and name of the Shield during Joe's absence. As of late, he'd adopted the name American Shield to differentiate himself from Joe. In the wake of the Joe's passing, however, he'd gone back to his original identity.

Gansler looked at his watch. "Fine. I suppose you want to plead the Comet's case, as well?"

"Actually, I want to prove his innocence."

The Fly blinked. Prove his innocence? You know he's as guilty as I do, Michael. What are you up to?

Evergreen, Washington

Josh Sterling kept a very close eye on the man who stood beside him. He didn't trust the Comet at all -- Josh had lost a sister-in-law in Evergreen and he wasn't prepared to forget a thing like that. He cast a glance over to Maria, who was running a hand through her hair. She looked tired and Josh wondered how the strains of leadership were affecting her husband -- and through that, their marriage.

"I wish I could bring it back. I really do." Rob Connors let out a long sigh as he stared down at the so-called Comet Dome that surrounded the remains of Evergreen.

Maria cleared her throat and stepped up to the edge of the cliff that overlooked the dome. "I only agreed to bring you here because you were so insistent, Rob -- but you have to move on. You're not as disturbed as you were then and burying yourself in guilt won't bring those people back."

Josh blurted out, "It's the least he can do though. Feeling sorry for himself should only be the start."

Maria started to hush Josh, but Rob spoke first. "You're right, Josh. I know you are. But I really do want people to know that I'm better now -- finding out about that my girlfriend had lied to me and that I was trapped in an alien body for the rest of my life... I became unhinged, I admit it. But the process Eterno used on me has stabilized my emotional state. I want to spend the rest of my life making amends."

Josh crossed his arms but remained silent. He'd seen how crazed the Comet had been inside the Crucible* and would never forget that for the rest of his life. Maybe the Fly and Jaguar could find it within themselves to forgive him, but Josh never would.

(*See Crucible # 6.)

Maria almost felt relieved when her communicator sounded. Between school and the Crusaders, she was running herself ragged and she had little patience for Josh and Rob bickering. "Hello?"

"Jaguar, this is the Shield." A shiver ran down Maria's spine at those words. She saw Joe, very clearly, in that last awful instant before Kalathar had killed him. With force of will, she returned to the present. "I need you and the others to come back to headquarters as soon as possible. I think I might have found a way to assure the government that the Comet poses no threat to anyone, but I'd all of you to be present."

No one looked more surprised to hear that than Rob Connors. "What is he talking about?"

INTERLUDE

"So we're in agreement then?" The cloaked figure's voice was strained with excitment as he spoke, his gloved hands squeezing together almost comically. To his ally he looked like some B-movie villain eager to unleash his latest fiendish plot. Which, in effect, he was.

The woman nodded. "Yes. I test the Crusaders for you and in return I get my five mil. Seems fair enough."

The cloaked man chuckled. "Good. Remember -- don't kill them. I only want to see what their limits are."

"You got it. Any preference as to who I hit on first?"

The cloaked man leaned forward, seeming to enjoy the smell of the woman's leather bodysuit more than the woman herself. "Yes. I want you to challenge the Fly first. Humiliate him."

The woman called Slaygirl nodded. "I'll pluck his wings and watch him squirm."

The cloaked man leaned back and smiled, his heart racing. Soon, I'll be ready to strike, Crusaders. And I promise that not a single one of you will survive....

Washington, DC - Crusaders Complex

"The device you're looking through, Mr. Gansler, was loaned to us by the heroes of another Earth. I know it sounds strange, but you've seen stranger in recent years, I'm sure. The individual before you is called Kalathar. There's a second person with him as well, though he's dwarfed in size. Look closely and I think you'll recognize him." The Shield and the assembled Crusaders stood with Gary Gansler as he peered into the viewscreen at the assembled horde of villainy before them.

Gansler leaned in closer and gasped. There, beside Kalathar, was the Comet.

Rob Connors, meanwhile, felt a bit uneasy about this. He knew where the Shield was going with this and he wondered if he'd play it all the way through -- it certainly wasn't something Joe would have gone along with.

Gansler rubbed his chin. "How can that be? Are there two of him?"

The Shield nodded. "That's exactly it. The man before you is called Eterno. He captured the Comet years ago and cloned him. Placing his own mind inside the Comet's body, he destroyed Evergreen and joined the Malevolent Legion. That man before you is the real criminal, not Rob Connors."

Gansler turned to look at the Comet. "Is that true?"

All eyes turned towards the Comet. The Fly and Jaguar were both frowning -- they wanted Rob back on the team, but lying about it? He was guilty, temporary insanity or not. Should they lie about it so he could go free?

A thousand thoughts ran through Rob's mind, not the least of which was the fact that Eterno could possibly be brought to trial for his crimes. Then again, Eterno was a villain... what would be the problem with adding another crime to the long list he already had?

"Mr. Connors? Is this true?" Gansler's eyes were narrowing even more than normal.

In the end, even the Comet was shocked to hear himself out loud. "It's true. He did it all. I was held prisoner for the last few years."

Gansler looked back at the doppleganger on the screen before him. "And so all of your criminal activities were actually comitted by your evil twin?"

The Comet nodded slowly. "That about sums it up, sir."

Gansler nodded. "I see. Very well -- consider yourself approved on a trial basis. The president will have to issue a full pardon before we can begin to work this with the press." He began a beeline to the door, speaking as he moved. "And there will be plenty of interviews you'll have to give, Mr. Connors, so be sure to brush up on your people skills. Good day, Crusaders."

As soon as Gansler was away, the Jaguar turned to the Shield. "Michael, how could you do this? You know that Eterno didn't do those things!"

The Shield folded his arms, as if expecting a fight. "With Joe dead, we need Rob's power. I know the government and I know that they'd never let the Comet back on the team without a cover story. Gansler doesn't believe it, either, but he knows the public will eat it up. That's all that matters."

Josh Sterling shook his head. "No, it's not. I joined this team because you asked me to, but I never thought I'd be lying to my own government."

"They lie to the American people everyday, Josh. Look, I'm still as patriotic as they come but the fact is, Rob needs to be here. Not only for the good of the team, but for his good as well. We can watch over him and make sure he stays on the straight and narrow."

Josh grunted. "He killed people, Michael! A lot of them. Why should he get a second chance at all?"

"Because Joe wanted him to have one, damnit! And if Joe believed in him, then so do I. So should all of you. He died fighting for what he believed in and it's the least we can do to pay him back."

The silence that answered him seemed almost damning. Jaguar, Fly and Steel Sterling refused to meet the eyes of either the Comet or the Shield.

The Shield felt the ache in his bones and sat down wearily. "Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to call this meeting to an end. I think we all need some time alone."

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